it is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore , physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools . what do you think?

since
Suggestion
Since
the ancient times, people have been entertaining themselves through sports and physical education in order to maintain a good healthy habit
.
Accept space
.
It is true to say that
,
Accept space
,
exercise
is essential for every one's life. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
exercise
is vital for children and teenagers. In the past, most of the schools provide special consideration for doing
exercise
in the morning and they
also
included an hour for doing sports activities.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
those children who do morning routine
exercise
,
Accept space
,
feel more relaxed and refreshed
.
Accept space
.
moreover
in addition
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
doing sports activity may improve the health condition of a student and
also
it may improve the quality of study due to mental and physical relaxation. In foreign countries
,
Accept space
,
school authorities and parents encourage their children to interact in different activities because the aim to improve the quality of team spirit which may helpful for their future.
those
Suggestion
Those
on
thee
definite article
the
other hand
,
Accept space
,
some of the parents who have no correct knowledge about the sports activities may not encourage or entertain their children to do those activities
.
Accept space
.
So
thay
people in general
they
that
this
will
diversily
in an adverse manner
adversely
affect to
thier
of them or themselves
their
tire
life
.
Accept space
.
that
Suggestion
That
is because
,
Accept space
,
students who
consendrate
make denser, stronger, or purer
concentrate
only in studies may suffer
siviour
intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality
severe
mental problems like depression.
tht
Suggestion
That
Tht
is why some
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
seems
Suggestion
seem
to be
desprate
arising from or marked by despair or loss of hope
desperate
disparate
and low energetic. Agglomerating all the points elaborated
above it
Accept comma addition
above, it
can be concluded that by implementing sports and physical education may create a fruitful
carrer
Suggestion
carer
carers
care
career
of children and adult. The fact in the case point is that,
exercise
is
essential element
Suggestion
an essential element
for one's
helathy
having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease
healthy
future.
Therfore
Suggestion
Therefore
, in my
opinon
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
,
Accept space
,
sports education is compulsory and which may improve our
fittness
the quality of being suitable
fitness
,
Accept space
,
skills, brain development and
also
through
this
we can reduce stress and
starin
to exert much effort or energy
strain
.
Submitted by Liya on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • compulsory
  • instill
  • regular exercise
  • participation
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • academic studies
  • concentration
  • focus
  • childhood obesity
  • motor skills
  • coordination
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