it is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore , physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools . what do you think?

#exercise #children #teenagers #education #sport #students #schools

since

Suggestion

Since

the ancient times, people have been entertaining themselves through sports and physical education in order to maintain a good healthy habit

Accept space

It is true to say that

Accept space

exercise

is essential for every one's life. In my opinion

Accept space

exercise

is vital for children and teenagers. In the past, most of the schools provide special consideration for doing

exercise

in the morning and they

also

included an hour for doing sports activities.

As a result

Accept space

those children who do morning routine

exercise

Accept space

feel more relaxed and refreshed

Accept space

moreover

in addition

Moreover

Accept space

doing sports activity may improve the health condition of a student and

also

it may improve the quality of study due to mental and physical relaxation. In foreign countries

Accept space

school authorities and parents encourage their children to interact in different activities because the aim to improve the quality of team spirit which may helpful for their future.

those

Suggestion

Those

thee

definite article

the

other hand

Accept space

some of the parents who have no correct knowledge about the sports activities may not encourage or entertain their children to do those activities

Accept space

thay

people in general

they

that

this

will

diversily

in an adverse manner

adversely

affect to

thier

of them or themselves

their

tire

life

Accept space

that

Suggestion

That

is because

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students who

consendrate

make denser, stronger, or purer

concentrate

only in studies may suffer

siviour

intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality

severe

mental problems like depression.

tht

Suggestion

That

Tht

is why some

childrens

a young person of either sex

children

seems

Suggestion

seem

to be

desprate

arising from or marked by despair or loss of hope

desperate

disparate

and low energetic. Agglomerating all the points elaborated

above it

Accept comma addition

above, it

can be concluded that by implementing sports and physical education may create a fruitful

carrer

Suggestion

carer

carers

care

career

of children and adult. The fact in the case point is that,

exercise

essential element

Suggestion

an essential element

for one's

helathy

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthy

future.

Therfore

Suggestion

Therefore

, in my

opinon

a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty

opinion

Accept space

sports education is compulsory and which may improve our

fittness

the quality of being suitable

fitness

Accept space

skills, brain development and

also

through

this

we can reduce stress and

starin

to exert much effort or energy

strain

Submitted by Liya on Wed Jul 03 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
mental health
compulsory
instill
regular exercise
participation
teamwork
discipline
resilience
academic studies
concentration
focus
childhood obesity
motor skills
coordination

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it is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore , physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools . what do you think?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

Many Working People Get Little or No Exercise either During the Working Day or in Their Free Time, and Have Health Problems as a Result. Why Do Many Working People Not Get Enough Exercise? What Can Be Done About This Problem?

Student should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?