IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it is a moral obligation for developed countries to provide international aid to developing countries, while others worry that the aid might possibly be misused by the governments of the poor countries. What is your opinion ?

#people #obligation #countries #aid #governments
Nowadays, with different economic
development growth
Accept comma addition
development, growth
, the gap between the rich countries and the poor countries are widening.
However
, whether the developed countries should make efforts to help the poor countries
remains
Suggestion
remain
 a controversial issue. Personally, I agree that wealthy nations should not only give
aid but
Accept comma addition
aid, but
also
 make sure it gets used properly.
Firstly
, it is obvious that the aids of developed countries would improve the basic living standards of developing countries dramatically. In terms of
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
, the rich countries send doctors to train the medical staff as well as provide free vaccination programmes.
This
 may be a good solution to struggle dangerous diseases
such
 as Ebola in African countries. These diseases have been eliminated completely and thousands of citizens have survived.
In addition
, education in the developing countries would be enhanced. By receiving financial aid from the developed countries, they have enough power to open new schools in remote areas.
This
 leads to the increase in the literacy rate.
Furthermore
, educated people would contribute to the sustainable development of each country.
That is
 not to say that the international aids could be dumped into the poor nations without any regulations. In fact, in some poor countries, corrupt officials have misused money from other countries to maintain their power. We have the United Nations and other organizations which could handle
such
 matters. It seems fair that if money is given, there is some oversight. In conclusion, it seems to me that the rich countries
has
Suggestion
have
 an obligation to help struggling nations and has a right to make sure that money is used with the good purpose.
Submitted by Thanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: