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Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life
It is considered by some that competing with each other is a good thing,
while
 other people think that it is better to work together to get more benefit. I support the view that it should be based on the type of work and circumstances. Those who advocate implementing a competitive type of job may argue that it motivates employees to do their tasks in short terms of time as it motivates them to be first among their colleagues.
Moreover
, competition can drive individuals to excel and reach their full potential, in the workplace it can foster innovation. To illustrate, it is especially convenient in sales because it is where you can show your all sales skills and abilities by interpreting it in numbers.
However
, I would argue that the above type of system is too rigid, and it is not suitable for everyone and not all occupations require these qualities. Cooperation builds strong relationships based on trust and mutual support, which can lead to lasting partnerships in both personal and professional contexts.
For example
, there are other workplaces, where it produces successful results by cooperating together
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and working in a team. To explain, when people work in a group, they may discuss the assignment with each other, and enhance their best ideas to perfect. In conclusion, both competition and cooperation have their merits and drawbacks. Recognizing when to encourage each can lead to more effective learning and working environments. Striking a balance can help individuals thrive and contribute positively to society.
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task achievement
Expand on the examples provided, such as detailing how teamwork or competition can specifically benefit certain tasks or projects. Providing more concrete instances will enhance the essay's persuasive power.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words or phrases to ensure a smooth flow between different paragraphs and ideas. This will help maintain the reader's interest and understanding.
task achievement
The essay introduces both sides of the argument clearly and concludes by expressing the writer's own position, meeting the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. Each paragraph centers around a key point, contributing to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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