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Band 5.5

Q. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#q #television #free-time #people
Technology industrial revolution has affected our day-to-day lives. One of the major changes includes
television which
Accept comma addition
television, which
 occupies most of the
time
 and it results in less family
time
 and lack of physical exercise. To agree
to
Suggestion
with
this
 point, the below essay will discuss how
television
 is affecting our family
time
 and increase in obesity causing several diseases.
Firstly
, in
this
 fast-paced life, people are not getting much
time
 to spend with their family or friends. Most of their
time
 is spent at work,
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 and putting more effort in to get a better lifestyle. After
this
, if they get some free
time
, it will be occupied by watching
television
.
Television
 entertainment is needed just to relax our mind and not to eat our family
time
.
For example
, parents after coming
from work get
Suggestion
from work, get
 busy watching their shows or sports and they are not spending
time
 with their children and it is affecting their relationship.
Secondly
, the desktop job is in
domination so
Accept comma addition
domination, so
 people won't get
time
 to do any physical activity. And if they are not cautious about their health and spend
time
 being lazy and watch
tv
Suggestion
TV
 programs
instead
 of taking a small walk or hitting gym they will be affected by some serious health issues.
For instance
, people in their free
time
 should take up some sports as their
hobby but
Accept comma addition
hobby, but
instead
 of that, they prefer to watch sports on
television
. So in conclusion, people are becoming obese and anti-social with
this
 increase in the
television
 industry. They should try to take a technology break and spend
time
 with the people around them and start some activity to keep themselves fit and healthy.
Submitted by priyadarshini.trivedi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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