In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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The advancement of science, medical technology, and social warfare leads us to a longer lifespan. Alas, some people argue that

this

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phenomenon is not a positive development as senior citizens are a burden for the authority,

while

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others believe that

this

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has abundant benefits.

This

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essay will discuss how the growing population of elderly people

Firstly

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, the ageing community gives us a clear depiction of a significant incline in global health conditions.

For example

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, decades ago, Indonesia experienced a severe shortage of health workers and used to have a 60-ish years life expectancy before significantly growing to 71 years old recently because of better medical equipment and doctor availability.

Hence

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, we can conclude that the disease prevention and disability rehabilitation measures march towards the right direction.

Therefore

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, senior society is an effective benchmark to see the collective well-being of the

country

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's residents.

Secondly

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, productive elderly folk are contributing to the

country

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's economic growth as many of them are still capable of working,

while

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others are unable can stay in the retirement homes, which opens a great number of job vacancies for younger generations.

For instance

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, the elderly community may need nurses, caretakers,

as well as

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home-cleaning services, resulting in absorbed labour and unemployment reduction. Other than that, productive senior citizens will not need any financial aid from the government since they are capable of having a job.

Thus

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, older generations are beneficial for the

country

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's financial stability either way. To summarise, the senior community depicts the citizens' wellness quality and contrary to popular beliefs, plays an impactful role in reducing employment

as well as

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contributing to the

country

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's economic growth.

Therefore

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, the abundance of elderly people brings more merits than downsides.

pink pantherThu Jan 18 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand on the disadvantages of an ageing population to provide a more balanced discussion as per the prompt. The essay tends to focus more on the advantages, which might skew the task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the essay structure and flow of ideas. The current structure could be enhanced with clearer topic sentences and transitions.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. The essay would benefit from concrete examples that illustrate both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on sentence structure and punctuation to enhance the readability of your writing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Fossil fuels are the ain sources in many countries, but insome countries the use of alternative sources of energy are encourages. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Environmental problems are too great to be managed by individuals. Real change can only be made at the government level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The primary purpose of public libraries is to provide books, and they should not waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computers, software, videos, and DVDs. To what extent you agree or disagree.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neigbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?