IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #birth #thirties #development
Nowadays, people are conditioned to settle down later in their years than it was used to be before, and
this
 essay will discuss
this
 notion by providing arguments and examples to support ensuing positive effects.
First
 and foremost, starting living together is a serious step, and for that reason a vast majority of individuals opt to develop mentally and financially
first
. In fact, there is ample evidence to suggest that an increasing number of couples have found themselves in a difficult state by starting an early family.
On the contrary
, University of Toronto has conducted a sophisticated research by interviewing married couples in their thirties, and it has been found that the time they spend developing and actualizing in their twenties has substantially contributed to their married
life
 satisfaction.
That is
 to say, it seems that individuals strive to improve themselves
first
 before committing to a family
life
 which seems like a
favorable
encouraging or approving or pleasing
favourable
 development. There is,
however
, another argument for
this
 late
engagement enthusiasm
Accept comma addition
engagement, enthusiasm
, and
that is
 more successful and loved children. To illustrate
this
 point, kids in the previous years had young people with no parental experience what so ever,
therefore
, leading to usually unbalanced children who had little attention from their parents, as those were busy figuring out their
life
 goals. Alternatively, now families consist of two interdependent individuals with some
life
 experience that they can utilize to appropriately transfer to their pupils. Indeed, children with grown-up parents have higher chances to succeed in
life
 than those with no future expectations. In conclusion, while many people decide to get married and make babies in their thirties, they have more chances to have a happy family and highly developed kids.
Submitted by nehaarora3379 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: