The increased availability of consumer credit in some countries has contributed to the problem of debt. Who is responsible for high levels of indebtedness: the financial institutions that lend money or the individuals who borrow money?
#availability #consumer #credit #countries #debt #levels #indebtedness #institutions #money #individuals
Many people have used
credit
cards
to buy everything they want and it can raise the debt. In this
essay, I totally agree with the individuals who have responsibility for the money that they borrow from the bank
.
First of all, every bank
has many programs for all customers, especially debit and credit
cards
that are used for transactions. Credit
cards
are one of the products with many benefits for users such
as getting the point that it can be exchanged with other products. Unfortunately, many consumers can't manage their money as well and like to buy something without good consideration. For instance
, when someone follows their lifestyle and they are buying due to
advertisements, so they check out directly with credit
cards
. After that, there will be big problems like accumulated debt in their bank
account, afterward some people are confused about how way to finish their debt in credit
. Absolutely every person has to be aware of financial management because credit
cards
can have a positive or negative impact on someone depending on their lifestyle.
Subsequently
, every bank
also
has to control advertisements about credit
card products, because it can influence many people's consumption and spend a lot of their money. Actually, the bank
has a high requirement for someone who will register to be a member such
as minimum salary, permanent job, and historical financial. It's not just that, it has educated buyers about all the risks when they use credit
cards
as well as
making consultations for financial management.
In summary, individual
has to be aware Add an article
an individual
the individual
and
manage their spending Change preposition
of and
financial
Correct your spelling
financials
as well as
banks should control and educate them about credit
cards
with detailed information such
as high risk and requirements.
My perspective is everyone who uses credit
cards
, they have to manage their card well. Following that, the customers must consult with the bank
.Submitted by writingbersama on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main topic, but try to provide more specific examples to enhance your arguments. Include examples that are directly related to the issue of indebtedness caused by credit cards. For instance, you could mention how financial institutions sometimes entice customers with low-interest rates initially, which later spike.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a more logical flow of ideas. While your essay mostly follows a logical structure, at times the ideas jump between points without clear transitions. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. For instance, phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' can be helpful.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your stance clearly. Your conclusion does this quite well, but aim for a tighter and more compelling wrap-up. It can still be more concise and impactful.
task achievement
In the future, try to provide more in-depth analysis for each point you introduce. Instead of just stating that individuals are responsible, explain why this is the case with more detailed reasoning and evidence, such as statistics or anecdotal examples.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear standpoint on the topic, attributing responsibility primarily to individuals. This is good for highlighting and emphasizing your position.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address the roles of both individuals and financial institutions, which shows a balanced approach. This gives your essay a more nuanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame the essay, giving readers a clear sense of the scope of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your essay are logically structured, making it relatively easy for readers to follow the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.