IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money can be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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In our
country
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 today, many people are of the opinion that too much money is being lavished on art works
instead
Linking Words
 of more profitable ventures. I,
however
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, completely disagree with
this
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 notion for a number of reasons. In the
first
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 place, investments made into artistic works have been known to greatly improve the
economy
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 of any
country
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 through tourism. It is no longer news that people from different regions of the world are drawn to places with outstanding art galleries. As they come, they contribute greatly to the nation's
economy
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 by creating more jobs for the local people.
For instance
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, according to the Nigerian Tourists Regulation Agency, tourism accounted for over fifty percent of the total revenue generated by the
country
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 in 2018.
This
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 revenue has contributed immensely to the funding of capital projects which, in turn, has led to an impressive growth in the nation's
economy
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.
In addition
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, the government's so-called "extravagant" spendings on the arts has significantly improved the global image of the
country
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. Right up to the 21st of July, 2018, the
country
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 has always been ranked below the twenty-fifth position in any International Recognition ranking.
However
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, as soon as the government invested a huge sum into purchasing the famous
Monalisa
Suggestion
Mona Lisa
 Portrait from the British Museum; an event that was aired live by top global news agencies, our rankings soared above the tenth position.
This
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 implies that many people have developed
interest
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an interest
 in our
country
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 which will soon see to more foreign investors trooping into the
country
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. In conclusion, spending money on artistic works is by no means wasteful as it has greatly improved the global image of our
country
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 as well as its
economy
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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