IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people like homeless and unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #aid
Over the
last
 100 years,
population
Suggestion
the population
 has grown at an exponential rate across many countries in the world.
This
 brings along with it its own problems
such
 as poverty, illiteracy, unemployment and so on. Many governments allocate huge resources to tackle these problems. Since all governments have problems to solve in their own countries, I agree with the argument that their
first
 priority should be their own people. There are ample reasons why I believe that the
government
 should put the welfare of its own people ahead of others.
To begin
 with, financial resources are becoming scarce and many countries are already in debt. These funds must be reserved for the development and maintenance of its own institutions and social security measures
such
 as free health care and shelters for homeless people.
Secondly
,
such
 welfare schemes not only elevate people out of poverty; they
also
 help the
government
 indirectly by creating jobs.
This
, in turn, facilitates the economic growth of the country.
On the other hand
, it is understandable and reasonable to donate money to
the poorer
Suggestion
the poor
 nations as a gesture of basic human decency and humanity. No nation, after all, can live in prosperity when its neighbours are struggling with poverty. By offering financial assistance to their poor neighbours, countries can
also
 put a curb on illegal immigration. Even so, in my opinion, solving problems in one’s own country is more important than venturing to help others. Others should be helped only when the donating country has a surplus of money and resources. In conclusion, there are obvious benefits for the
government
 in the long run
from
Suggestion
of
 donating money as relief aids to many foreign countries.
However
, I strongly iterate that the
government
 must
first
 improve the economic, financial and employment prospects of its own people before embarking on humanitarian work abroad.
Submitted by faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocating resources
  • social stability
  • economic growth
  • moral obligation
  • global responsibility
  • alleviate poverty
  • essential services
  • diplomatic relationships
  • economic interdependence
  • globalized world
  • stabilize foreign markets
  • trade relationships
  • global crises
  • balanced approach
  • pragmatic solution
  • immediate local needs
  • international obligations
  • global cooperation
  • soft power
  • international influence
  • diplomatic relations
  • strategically advantageous
What to do next:
Look at other essays: