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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. what problems are caused by this issue ? what can be done to solve the situation ?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #situation
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Massive migration of young people into metropolitan cities in an attempt to find a better life is a major concern in many countries. As more and more young people are leaving the countryside, average age in many rural villages
have raised
Suggestion
has raised
 considerably.
This
Linking Words
 demographic change may have
serous
concerned with work or important matters rather than play or trivialities
serious
 consequences and should be
adressed
(of mail) marked with a destination
addressed
 urgently. The results of
negetive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
 migration of young men and women from
periphral
on or near an edge or constituting an outer boundary; the outer area
peripheral
 areas have drastic effects on the economical situation. Since the vast majority of these areas rely on blue
color
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collar
 workers performing manual labour, many factories and farm owners
can not
can not
cannot
 find enough working hands to perform the required job. As a
consequences many
Suggestion
consequence, many
consequence many
buisnesses
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
businesses
business
business'
 are
loosing
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
losing
 money and are forced to shut down. Another main problem lies in the fact the increased average age lead to higher needs for medical and social support which, in turn,
further
Linking Words
 increase the
finicial
involving financial matters
financial
 burden on the city
expensses
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experiences
. Despite the above mentioned,
the
people in general
they
 are several changes which could be made in order to reverse these trends.
Linking Words
Initially increasing
Accept comma addition
Initially, increasing
 work places options, especially for people with academic education
such
Linking Words
 as university personal or
engeneers
a person who uses scientific knowledge to solve practical problems
engineers
, may shift the tide and cause people to stay.
Also
Linking Words
 improving the local education system may convince many children bearing families to remain in
te
definite article
the
 countryside.
Finally
Linking Words
, tax reduction and social benefits may
also
Linking Words
 assist these
peripheal
on or near an edge or constituting an outer boundary; the outer area
peripheral
 areas and convince people to remain. In conclusion,
negetive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
 migration from the countryside to major cities is an international concern and have severe social and economical effects.
Despte
Suggestion
Despite
 that, there are ways where we can change the tide
soo
to a very great extent or degree
so
soon
 people will stay and enjoy its
beuty
the qualities that give pleasure to the senses
beauty
bounty
.
Submitted by chilafp on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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