IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent Do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies
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It is argued that to have fun, free time tasks need to be very complicated. I totally disagree with that statement. Difficult hobbies can lead to frustration for not achieving them.
By contrast
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, those which are accessible can be a simple way to be happy or at least disconnect from daily routine.
Firstly
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, I believe that when we constantly try to do exotic activities, we are not happy for the simple reason that we can not reach our objectives.
For instance
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, my uncle always wanted to go to Morocco to do sandboarding but the sport was so hard that he understood that he was not prepared and he was not happy because it was too difficult for him and he put too much expectation on the activity without appreciating other things.
However
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, I think that other leisure activities that are accessible can make us enjoy our time
due to
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 the fact that we achieve our objective and we can make progress.
For example
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,
according to
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 ABC the guitar, considered the easiest instrument, is the one with most people playing and the saxophone, one of the hardest is the one less played. In fact, only 0,09% of the musicians can play saxophone and more than 24% guitar.
Consequently
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, we understand that people usually practice simple hobbies.
To conclude
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, I wholeheartedly prefer not to do difficult activities to enjoy my free time because if I do they may result in a hard and complicated thing to truly enjoy ,
while
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 common easy hobbies are good if we appreciate them.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next to strengthen the flow of the essay. This will improve the reader's understanding of your arguments and conclusions.
task achievement
While the response is generally complete, try to provide more detailed examples or counter-arguments to fully explore the topic. This will enrich your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction that outlines your position and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your arguments. These serve to reinforce your overall viewpoint and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a coherent argument against the need for hobbies to be difficult in order to be enjoyable. This demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your views, like the examples of sandboarding and musical instruments, which make your arguments more concrete and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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