as well as making money , business also have social responsibilities.Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is claimed that the authorities ought to pay attention to improving environmental conditions and housing issues to avoid illness and diseases.The writer of

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement as

pollution

Use synonyms

of the environment and overpopulation are the main reasons which cause health issues. It must be understood that one of the negative effects

Change preposition

show examples

people's health is

pollution

Use synonyms

,especially air

pollution

Use synonyms

and water

pollution

Use synonyms

.Both water and air are used regularly for daily living activities ,they

also

Linking Words

play important roles in citizens' lives.

Therefore

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,there will be more health problems

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

breathing and skin if air and water are polluted seriously.

Additionally

Linking Words

,reducing overpopulation can prevent sickness as when there are too many immigrants,it leads to a lack of land for living so they have to live in slums and the diseases will spread easily.

Thus

Linking Words

, if the governments solve the housing issue successfully,they can improve the living standards

as well as

Linking Words

protect individuals' wellness.

By contrast

Linking Words

, the authorities

also

Linking Words

should improve medical systems.In other words, the healthcare sector's development

also

Linking Words

means that researchers have more chances to invent better vaccines for preventing diseases.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic, many professionals and doctors cooperated to create new vaccines as quickly as they could. All countries around the world can repel

this

Linking Words

serious pandemic because of those inventions.

To sum up

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although

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there are many other ways to reduce

Change the article

the

show examples

number of sicknesses, improving environmental conditions and housing issues is always the best way as they are

also

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the main reasons cause illness and pandemics

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds well to the prompt and is mostly clear and comprehensive. However, it would benefit from integrating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly regarding air and water pollution's direct impact on health and overpopulation leading to slums.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all your ideas flow naturally from one paragraph to the next. Consider adding more transition words or phrases to enhance the logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have effectively identified key issues such as pollution and overpopulation and linked them to health problems, thereby demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social responsibilities
contribute
well-being
community
philanthropy
sustainability
ethical
trust
reputation
accountable
profit-making
balance

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as well as making money , business also have social responsibilities.Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole?