Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been a debate whether a learning institution or a home is responsible to teach youngsters about their healthy lifestyles. Undoubtedly, both of these institutes have their own role to play, but in my opinion, pupils should be provided with enough information about their health through their teachers rather than their parents. Most importantly, the knowledge of wellbeing in children in their primary level education helps towards the prosperity of the country.
That is
Linking Words
to say, if the young ones acquire knowledge about fitness in their early age,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
could help them live longer, which in turn, allow them to serve their nation to strengthen its economy by making contributions
such
Linking Words
as paying taxes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the healthy people are
also
Linking Words
very efficient and effective while performing in every sector,
such
Linking Words
that it becomes a competitive advantage
for
Suggestion
of
a state.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people develop most of their habit with
young
Suggestion
younger
age. It is known that a person could not change his behaviour very easily which he already habituates himself while he was a child.
For instance
Linking Words
, Sigmund Freud said that an adult’s habit would be shaped from the time he was born and the guidance he gets in his childhood plays a vital role to determine his adulthood.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very important for primary institutes
to provide
Suggestion
provide
enough facts about healthiness to their young scholars. In conclusion, I believe schools should
also
Linking Words
focus on providing education related to hygiene and fitness to their students apart from regular courses because not only
this
Linking Words
could help towards the provision of
healthy
Suggestion
health
workforce to the country but
Linking Words
also people develop
Suggestion
people also develop
many of their habits in their youth.
Submitted by ahutgautam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: