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Band 5.5

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
It has been a debate whether a learning institution or a home is responsible to teach youngsters about their healthy lifestyles. Undoubtedly, both of these institutes have their own role to play, but in my opinion, pupils should be provided with enough information about their health through their teachers rather than their parents. Most importantly, the knowledge of wellbeing in children in their primary level education helps towards the prosperity of the country.
That is
 to say, if the young ones acquire knowledge about fitness in their early age,
then
this
 could help them live longer, which in turn, allow them to serve their nation to strengthen its economy by making contributions
such
 as paying taxes.
Moreover
, the healthy people are
also
 very efficient and effective while performing in every sector,
such
 that it becomes a competitive advantage
for
Suggestion
of
 a state.
Moreover
, people develop most of their habit with
young
Suggestion
younger
 age. It is known that a person could not change his behaviour very easily which he already habituates himself while he was a child.
For instance
, Sigmund Freud said that an adult’s habit would be shaped from the time he was born and the guidance he gets in his childhood plays a vital role to determine his adulthood.
Therefore
, it is very important for primary institutes
to provide
Suggestion
provide
 enough facts about healthiness to their young scholars. In conclusion, I believe schools should
also
 focus on providing education related to hygiene and fitness to their students apart from regular courses because not only
this
 could help towards the provision of
healthy
Suggestion
health
 workforce to the country but
also people develop
Suggestion
people also develop
 many of their habits in their youth.
Submitted by ahutgautam on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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