IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
In present day society, with accelerated development of technology and science, modern society presents us a variety of options. I strongly agree with the view because of the Internet and the advancement of transport systems. Nowadays, the internet plays a pivotal role in people’s lives and provides them with several services.
Firstly
, the widespread use of social
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
 and emails has become more popular and less time-consuming, which enables individuals to communicate in a more effective way and will help them
with
Suggestion
to
 boost their work efficiency.
Secondly
,
instead
 of shopping in a physical store, there are numerous online stores available for everyone, including various kinds of goods and products. People have easy access to online websites because they can browse them anytime or anywhere they want.
Thirdly
, online courses are more prevalent compared to the past, which means that people can find numerous educational courses and programmes on the websites.
This
 will not only enrich people’s
knowledge but
Accept comma addition
knowledge, but
also
 improve their marketable skills.
In addition
, it is undeniable that the staggering development of transport systems
also make
Suggestion
also makes
 people’s lives
more easier
Suggestion
easier
 and
colorful
having striking color
colourful
.
To begin
 with, people in the age of changes have a wide range of places and countries to travel because of the advent of
airplanes
. They have to decide where they want to spend their time on holidays and what they want to experience there.
Furthermore
, when
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 to work, people have more options today than
last
 centuries,
such
 as subway, railway and bus services, which will exert positive impact on our environment because they produce less emission and exhaust fumes. In my opinion, owing to the progress of the Internet and transport systems, people’s lives are full of choices and they
also
 improve our standard of living and make our lives more convenient and easier.
Submitted by linleeyeachiu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: