People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #face #life #governments #move #towns

Nowadays individuals prefer to live in urban areas which gives rise to many issues in their daily routine. There are several problems but the most common ones are accommodation and pollution.

However

, I believe, that high authorities should take strict actions to tackle

such

problems like introducing the benefits of living in the countryside because of the clean environment. The reason why

people

prioritize living in cities as compared to villages is that it contains a lot of facilities and a good education system.

Along with

that they

also

get good opportunities to do work there. But it will lead to various challenges the first and most common problem is the residential problem, the

people

are rushing towards London and they face challenges like most of the

people

unable to find a home for them because the number of

people

is greater than the number of home. So they struggle to find a home or flat to live in.

Secondly

, as more

people

are there the pollution rate

also

increases like more traffic and vehicles are found on the roads

in contrast

to previous times.

Consequently

, it will give birth to various health disorders like respiratory diseases the ratio of asthmatic patients rises vigrously. The solution to solve

such

problems is to take support from minstery. It is the responsibility of the government to facilitate their citizen in the suburbs as well. So they can get everything there easily. They

also

tell their nations that it is advantageous for them to stay there. It is advantageous for them because of the clean surroundings and arranging seminars for them in which they can tell their

people

about the farming techniques and they can easily grow their vegetables and

also

sell them to other countries

this

helps them to boost their economic value

also

. In conclusion, it is a fact that

people

are moving towards higher cities and many are facing challenges. It is undeniable that city areas have more facilities but here it is the duty of the ministry to introduce that it is worth living in underdeveloped areas. And

also

introduce them

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

benefits of living there.

Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Task Achievement

Task Response: You addressed the main points of the questions appropriately, however, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the problems and solutions mentioned. Including evidence or data could strengthen the task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. But, transitions between ideas could be smoother and paragraphing can be clearer to enhance readability and flow. Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Many students find it hard to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem

Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecast. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.