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Band 6

Some people believe that a person’s criminal record should be removed when they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #record #age
Many people argue that a juvenile’s criminal record should be relieved when he reaches eighteen years old. I completely argue against
this
 view because it could be very harmful for the society to release them without considering other factors other than their
age
. Primarily, it could not be known whether the person is rehabilitated, just because of his certain
age
. Many of the adult convicts who perform serious crimes
such
 as murderers and rapist, start their unjust career as a petty wrongdoer in the earliest period of their time of life.
This
 proves that the seriousness of misconduct increases with their growing
age
.
Hence
, it is very unwise to waive their name from criminal list based on their
age
.
Also
, it is
also
 very vital to evaluate the behaviour of young felony before renouncing their name. The increase in the convict
age
 does not guarantee the improvement in his behaviour, but most of the time
this
 could make them more calculative and careful
on
Suggestion
of
 their
next
 crime.
For instance
, the documentary titled “I am a Killer” in Netflix has shown that most convicts become more cautious with their crimes as they grow older. In conclusion, I believe that the name of the criminals should not be deleted from their record because
age
 could not guarantee their transformation and the behaviour of
morally deviated person
Suggestion
morally deviated people
a morally deviated person
the morally deviated person
morally deviated persons
 could not be determined by their
age
.
Submitted by ahutgautam on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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