IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With an increase in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of schools and sources of education, more and more schools provide detailed knowledge for their primary students
such
Linking Words
 as foreign
languages
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 adding more pressure on schoolchildren can create some health issues, they are outweighed by the benefits, which include future career opportunities. One downside of learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is creating some hard challenges. When young children start to obtain extra knowledge from
school
Use synonyms
, they may struggle with grammar rules. Uzbek and English
languages
Use synonyms
 can be a pertinent example, when young kid employ both their native and foreign speech, they may mix native and foreign words, resulting in confusion in both
languages
Use synonyms
 and slower progress in the mother tongue.
Therefore
Linking Words
, early learning
languages
Use synonyms
 can lead to immature brain development. Despite these disadvantages, the advantages of learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 are far greater. One major benefit of learning an additional
language
Use synonyms
 is creating the chance for future careers. When young children obtain additional knowledge like
language
Use synonyms
, these skills sometimes help their employability.
For example
Linking Words
, if students know a foreign
language
Use synonyms
, which started learning during their primary classes at
school
Use synonyms
, eventually
this
Linking Words
 may provide chances for job applications.
Thus
Linking Words
, schools need to teach foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 as it will show the effect in later life. In conclusion, there are some downsides to learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
, which should be taught in primary
school
Use synonyms
 children that
consequently
Linking Words
 causes brain progress.
However
Linking Words
, these are not as significant as the advantages that provide job opportunities for children’s future careers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to provide a more defined thesis statement in your introduction to clearly present your position on the issue. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, make sure to develop your points more fully by providing additional examples and elaborating on your ideas. This will help to enhance the clarity and strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your transitions between ideas are smooth, as this will help improve the overall flow of your essay. Using linking words can enhance the connection between your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider the structure of your concluding paragraph. It should not only summarize your main points, but also reinforce your stance more firmly than your current conclusion does.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument recognizing both the advantages and disadvantages of teaching foreign languages to primary school children, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your use of examples like the confusion between Uzbek and English is relevant and helps illustrate your point about the disadvantages of learning foreign languages at a young age.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foreign languages
  • primary school
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • develops
  • cognitive skills
  • enhances
  • cultural awareness
  • improves
  • communication skills
  • increases
  • future opportunities
  • promotes
  • multi-lingualism
  • affect
  • learning
  • subjects
  • qualified
  • language teachers
  • lack of
  • time
  • resources
  • difficulties
  • maintaining
  • language proficiency
  • potential
  • unequal distribution
  • opportunities
  • overall perspective
  • properly implemented
What to do next:
Look at other essays: