Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, famous people are known for their outer appearance and money they possess than their achievements.
This
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results in setting a detrimental example for young individuals. I completely agree with
this
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view, for several reasons.
Firstly
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, young people who think about the glamour and money celebrities possess, is detrimental for their future prospect. Youngsters
only gives
Suggestion
only give
are only giving
have only given
are only given
focus to the status, the known people possess, without thinking much about the struggles they did, in order to achieve
such
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status.
This
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, in turn, makes them to link success to the outer appearance and money, and avoid to opt for hard work in
life
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.
In other words
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, the lack of identifying struggles and achievements of famous people, young individuals become
demotivated
Suggestion
and stop
struggle
Suggestion
struggling
.
This
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leads to the failure in their future
life
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. A recent report
by
Suggestion
from
the Michigan University,
for instance
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, showed that younger people who are prone to the lifestyle and
wealth
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information’s of the Hollywood Stars, are less likely to opt for hard work and become failed in
life
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.
Secondly
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, youngsters become materialistic by acquiring information about the
wealth
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and appearance of celebrities.
This
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is because they are inexperienced and absorb things easily in
minds
Suggestion
the minds
, without pondering about its background.
That is
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to say, by seeing and reading about the
life
Use synonyms
and stories of famous individual’s glamorous and wealthy lifestyle, young people become stick to achieve
such
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luxurious status.
This
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, in turn, instills in them unemotional and desensitized nature, regarding other people, and merely trying to accomplish materialistic things
such
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as
wealth
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and beauty. Research by the International Management of Human Sciences,
for example
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, conducted a study that young individuals acquired materialistic approaches regarding other aspects of
life
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, when opt for seeing the high statuses of other people. In conclusion, I agree that only portraying the
wealth
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and beauty of famous individuals and hiding their accomplishments tend to become a damaging role model for youngsters, as they
then
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avoid hard work and are unable to become successful in future, as well as become materialistic.
Submitted by jamal.prince2019 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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