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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays , many people are spending less and less time at home , What are the causes of it? What are the effects of this on individuals as well as on the society?

#people #time #home #effects #individuals #society
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At present, most of the people are spending less
time
Use synonyms
 with family members
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because people are busy with their
work
Use synonyms
 schedules and may be the influence of social media and friends.
This
Linking Words
 is a detrimental
issues
Suggestion
issue
 and it would affect the society as well as the individual negatively
such
Linking Words
 as, relationship gets spoiled and other social issues may occur. The
predominent
most frequent or common
predominant
 cause of not spending enough
time
Use synonyms
 at home is the busy
work
Use synonyms
 schedules.
In other words
Linking Words
,
nowdays
Suggestion
now days
 people are spending
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of their
time
Use synonyms
 in office to complete their project
work
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 eventually coming late to
office
Suggestion
the office
 and end up in
weended
Suggestion
we ended
work
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
they are unable to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
 would impact negatively both individual and society. In a nutshell, people's relationship would get affected. As they are having very less
time
Use synonyms
 with family relationships would get spoiled
.
Accept space
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend who is working in a famous IT company who spends most of the
time
Use synonyms
 in
office
Suggestion
the office
 for
work
Use synonyms
 assignments recently got
seperated
being or feeling set or kept apart from others
separated
 from his wife because of the family problems
.
Accept space
.
 That was
maily
for the most part
mainly
 because he was not spending
time
Use synonyms
 with her
.
Accept space
.
 It is very essential to be with family members and spend
time
Use synonyms
 with them. Another important reason for not being at home is social media and friends influence's. There are some people always influenced by friend's circle or social media and would be roaming around
with out
in absence of
without
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family. To some extend
,
Accept space
,
 friends and social networking
is
Suggestion
are
 good and
useful
Accept comma addition
useful, however
however
Linking Words
overinfluence
Suggestion
over influence
 of these would spoil people's family. As of now
,
Accept space
,
 many youngsters are spending
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of mobile phones or they would be roaming with friends.
For example
Linking Words
, my niece who is studying Engineering has not been spoken to parents for 2 months as he is always busy with his friends or with his mobile phone. These
inflences
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influences
influence
has
Suggestion
have
 to be controlled and one should be at home with their dear once. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people cannot spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with family due to factors like busy
work
Use synonyms
 schedules and friends
,
Accept space
,
 we should make sure that we are
speding
the act of spending or disbursing money
spending
 quality
time
Use synonyms
 with our family members to live a happier life.
Submitted by lijiac020 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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