IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it causes problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age
It is argued that, it will create many difficulties, if old age people above sixty are allowed to work. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement because, as they got vast
experience
 they can handle people very well and can be the advisors for the betterment of the organization. To embark upon, they are the best diplomatics and are better in handling different types of people. Due to their enormous exposure in meeting different people throughout their career. They can easily judge people and talk
accordingly
, the most important thing is they can motivate people through their
experience
 and knowledge.
For example
, Indian cricket team, head coach Sunil Gavaskar, who was the main pillar in winning world cup 2011, after two defeats in
first
 two matches, he was the one took charge and motivate players by sharing his
experience
 on
such
 a big platform and
then
 after rest is the history.
Additionally
, they can be the right person in advising in certain situation and predicting any threat in the near future for the business. While expanding any business, they play an important role due to their immense knowledge of the market and best quality about them is they can predict
quiet
Suggestion
quieter
 easily any problems or
threata
Suggestion
threat an
threat a
 in
near future
Suggestion
the near future
.
For example
, Facebook’s senior advisor Kabir Singh was the man behind for buying
company
Suggestion
a company
 called
whatsapp
 for 19 billion and it turned out to be the best deal ever in the history. In conclusion, I totally disagree because, age old people are the biggest asset for any organization by doing different roles in handling people and guiding their
experience
.
Submitted by arjunreddy241989 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: