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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that good health is a basic human need so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantageous

#people #health #service #companies #healthcare
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In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that the basic necessity of
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
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 as
health
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 ought not to organize by private enterprises. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of private
health
Use synonyms
care
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. On the
one
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 hand, it is clear that private
health
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care
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 brings numerous benefits.
First
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, the rapid speed of serving is
one
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 of the main reasons why people tend to choose a private hospital.
For example
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,
instead
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 of waiting
for
Suggestion
in
 a long queue in extreme weather at a public hospital, victims can get
treatment
Suggestion
treated
 immediately in the private’s
one
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, especially in an emergency situation.
Second
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, private companies could provide any services for their patients no matter where they live. Specifically, they may provide
health
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care
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 services to remote areas where government’s welfare is not accessible.
As a result
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, all demands of communities can be satisfied.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that there are several drawbacks of profit-making companies.
First
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 and foremost, the high cost of some private
health
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 can lead the poor stuck in a serious problem. Those who live in poor living standards may not be affordable to buy prescription or use expensive equipment. Henceforth, they can lose their
family even
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family, even
 the victims do not get a serious disease in the
first
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 place.
Second
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, quality of
care
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 may suffer from profits determine
care
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. Some employers want to maximize their profit,
therefore
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, they boost up the price of
health
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 service.
This
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 is
one
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 of the reasons that public
health
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care
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 is the
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 choice of people. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It is not ignored that private
health
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care
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 makes numerous victims alive.
Submitted by yotsuba on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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