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Band 5.5

some people think that good health is a basic human need so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantageous

#people #health #service #companies #healthcare
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In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that the basic necessity of
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
 as
health
 ought not to organize by private enterprises. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of private
health
care
. On the
one
 hand, it is clear that private
health
care
 brings numerous benefits.
First
, the rapid speed of serving is
one
 of the main reasons why people tend to choose a private hospital.
For example
,
instead
 of waiting
for
Suggestion
in
 a long queue in extreme weather at a public hospital, victims can get
treatment
Suggestion
treated
 immediately in the private’s
one
, especially in an emergency situation.
Second
, private companies could provide any services for their patients no matter where they live. Specifically, they may provide
health
care
 services to remote areas where government’s welfare is not accessible.
As a result
, all demands of communities can be satisfied.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that there are several drawbacks of profit-making companies.
First
 and foremost, the high cost of some private
health
 can lead the poor stuck in a serious problem. Those who live in poor living standards may not be affordable to buy prescription or use expensive equipment. Henceforth, they can lose their
family even
Accept comma addition
family, even
 the victims do not get a serious disease in the
first
 place.
Second
, quality of
care
 may suffer from profits determine
care
. Some employers want to maximize their profit,
therefore
, they boost up the price of
health
 service.
This
 is
one
 of the reasons that public
health
care
 is the
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 choice of people. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It is not ignored that private
health
care
 makes numerous victims alive.
Submitted by yotsuba on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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