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Band 5.5

In many countries the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of the crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
A
crime
 free country is every country's hope. Many problems occur because of increased
rate
Suggestion
rates
 of crimes in a nation.
This
 essay will state the major causes of illegal acts and give a solution to the
menance
something that is a source of danger
menace
 caused by it. It will state that unemployment is the major culprit for increased
crime
 rate and give a solution of providing Job opportunities and empowerment programmes.
To begin
 with, the major reason why crimes seem to be on the rise is because of lack of Jobs.
Consequently
, unavailability of jobs to members of the society
have resulted
Suggestion
has resulted
to
Suggestion
in
petty
Suggestion
a petty crime increase
crime
 increase in
order
 to survive.
For example
 illegal activities increased in Malawi after the President cut the budget on Job provisions in 2018.
As a result
 of
this
, youths were seen roaming the streets and extorting unsuspecting passersby of their hard earned money.
Furthermore
, a viable way to deal with
this
menance
something that is a source of danger
menace
 usurping the nation is the provision of more job opportunities. The
government
 must ensure that more jobs are made available for different cadres of the society in
order
, to prevent them from being idle.
Also
, the
government
 can provide empowerment schemes for uneducated citizens in
order
 to counsel them about alternate sources of incomes asides professional jobs. I remember being without Job for 2 years but after attending an empowerment programme where we were taught different skills from makeup to hairdressing. I was able to start my own business with the grant given by the
government
 after the successful completion of the course.
This
 feat would not have been possible without the
government
 creating alternate avenues for Job. To sum up, in
order
 to ameliorate
increased
Suggestion
the increased crime rate
crime
 rate the
government
 has the sole responsibility of providing more jobs in
order
 to take the youths off the streets.
Submitted by Mabel on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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