Nowadays shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby in their free time. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development?

#activities #people #hobby #time #development

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There is no doubt that every single human being loves to go shopping. People have replaced other activities because they want to do shopping in their leisure

time

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. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the reasons behind

this

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and discuss whether is a positive or negative development.

To begin

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ago, shopping has become a trend among every individual. Five years back, mass used to spend their free

time

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with friends, playing games or doing gardening. Recently, there has been a big difference in their choices and it is only because of social media and online discounts. Before, humankind were not aware of discounts and all

this

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craziness of buying clothes. The other reason is to show off others. Today's generation wants to show off or post everything online on social media about their daily routines. So,

instead

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of giving some

time

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to family or doing something else they prefer to go shopping. Moving

further

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, it is a negative development. Individuals should do some relaxing activities in their leisure

time

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Whereas

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they prefer to go out.

This

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affects their health because spending all the

time

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on shopping can give them stress which can disturb their mental health. As you are wasting money without any reason and that affects your wealth .

For example

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, if someone is stressed and is trying to calm down by doing shopping they things it will help. But people don't know it is increasing their problem. In conclusion, there are several reasons for doing shopping in the meantime

instead

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of doing something else. It can lead to another problem so, it is a negative development.

Submitted by kaursaijbir on Thu Sep 26 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples. This will help in strengthening your argument and making your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be done by using linking words and phrases effectively.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, setting a clear direction.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Nowadays shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby in their free time. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people.Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages,while others believe that would be a waste of money.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communicationn outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe that there are other alternatives ways of reducing crime. Discuss your opinion?

Living standards are often better in cities than in the countryside, which causes problems. What are some of the differences and problems? What steps could be taken to reduced them?

Even though globalization has some very positive effects, we can't forget its negative effects. What are the disadvantages and advantages of globalization?