Nowadays shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby in their free time. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development?

#activities #people #hobby #time #development

There is no doubt that every single human being loves to go shopping. People have replaced other activities because they want to do shopping in their leisure

time

. In

this

essay, I will discuss the reasons behind

this

and discuss whether is a positive or negative development.

To begin

ago, shopping has become a trend among every individual. Five years back, mass used to spend their free

time

with friends, playing games or doing gardening. Recently, there has been a big difference in their choices and it is only because of social media and online discounts. Before, humankind were not aware of discounts and all

this

craziness of buying clothes. The other reason is to show off others. Today's generation wants to show off or post everything online on social media about their daily routines. So,

instead

of giving some

time

to family or doing something else they prefer to go shopping. Moving

further

, it is a negative development. Individuals should do some relaxing activities in their leisure

time

Whereas

they prefer to go out.

This

affects their health because spending all the

time

on shopping can give them stress which can disturb their mental health. As you are wasting money without any reason and that affects your wealth .

For example

, if someone is stressed and is trying to calm down by doing shopping they things it will help. But people don't know it is increasing their problem. In conclusion, there are several reasons for doing shopping in the meantime

instead

of doing something else. It can lead to another problem so, it is a negative development.

Submitted by kaursaijbir on Thu Sep 26 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples. This will help in strengthening your argument and making your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be done by using linking words and phrases effectively.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, setting a clear direction.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby in their free time. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?