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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #two
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Owing to enhancement in
technology
, old traditions have lost their impact. Many opine that tradition and
technology
 cannot be managed together. In my view,
technology
 and cultural values intertwine together. In
this
 contemporary era, many researches have been done in the field of science and
technology
 to comfort life of mankind.
Although
 advancement has created ease, originality of traditions has lost.
In other words
, due to
trend
Suggestion
the trend
a trend
 of online classes,
young generation
Suggestion
the young generation
 will be missing the attractiveness and beauty of
classroom environment
Suggestion
the classroom environment
.
In addition
, the new inventions in architecture has lead to
extinct
Suggestion
extinction
extinctions
 of many traditions. To illustrate, in rural areas of Pakistan, houses
were made
Suggestion
was made
 of clay by local masons but now web designs have replaced them in infrastructure. Despite variation in
perfomance
a dramatic or musical entertainment
performance
 of daily activities, many people in various part of the world still follow their old traditions. In order to keep and protect
diversity
Suggestion
the diversity
 of customs, it is followed and adopted in younger generations.
for
Suggestion
For
 instance,
inspite
Suggestion
in spite
 of
advanced country
Suggestion
advanced countries
an advanced country
, China still promote their
defencive
intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack
defensive
 techniques
such
 as Kung
fu
.
Furthermore
,
technology
 can be used to promote culture and attract tourists.
For example
, many promotional and informative advertisements on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 helps economy of PAKISTAN BY ATTRACTING MORE TOURISTS.
by
Suggestion
By
 just one click, people can know about
unique customs
Suggestion
the unique customs
 of Pakistan.
Moreover
,
technology
 of google map
help
Suggestion
helps
 visitors to reach destination. To conclude, IN MY OPINION, traditions and
technology
 can be handled together, as they augments positive impact
of
Suggestion
on
eachother
Suggestion
each other
.
Submitted by sumera on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • advancement
  • globalization
  • dilutes
  • traditional cultures
  • social media
  • blending of cultures
  • preservation
  • platforms
  • adaptability
  • technological adaptations
  • uphold
  • consequence
  • integrate
  • cultural frameworks
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