IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. What do you think are the pros and cons of this policy? Justify your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#government #parents #children #home #policy
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The importance of the role parents play in the life of their children cannot be overemphasized. Some people are of the view that one of the father or mother, with the financial support of the government, should stay at home and take care of the kids. While
this
Linking Words
 is an excellent idea because of the safety of the child, the disadvantages ought to be considered. Having a parent available to grow with the child has a
lot
Use synonyms
 of crucial advantages. Humans are generally in their most vulnerable state when they are young. Children are susceptible to all
sort
Suggestion
sorts
 of sickness when growing up.
For instance
Linking Words
, my son used to be a very healthy lad until he started attending a Crèche because his
mom
Suggestion
 had to resume work after her maternity leave. The crèche was unable to make special arrangement for his peculiar needs and allergies.
As a result
Linking Words
, he always had a flu or an infection every other week.
In addition
Linking Words
, children absorb a
lot
Use synonyms
 in their teenage years and are easily influenced by what they learn from their colleagues at school. If their parents are not available to guide them
aright
an abstract idea of that which is due to a person or governmental body by law or tradition or nature
right
, they might grow up to be hoodlums and drug addicts.
However
Linking Words
, having a stay at home parent would require a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money to finance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the compensation that would be paid to them has to be funded one way or another. In most cases,
this
Linking Words
 would be done with
tax payers’ money
Suggestion
the tax payers’ money
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there has to be a compromise somewhere in the government’s finances because these funds could be used for other critical aspects of the economy
such
Linking Words
 as education or health.
Also
Linking Words
, a huge percentage of the workforce, assuming most of them are married with kids, have to stop work.
This
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would be leave
Suggestion
would leave
 enormous human capital gaps in most companies in the country. Additional,
this
Linking Words
 lead to a drastic reduction in personal income tax revenue for the states. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 kids have a
lot
Use synonyms
 to benefit if one of the parents happen to be around while they are growing up, it would come at huge cost, in terms of funding and revenue lost, to the economy as a whole.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • formative years
  • cognitive development
  • financial burden
  • low-income families
  • gender roles
  • gender equality
  • workplace
  • economic strain
  • divert resources
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • socialization
  • structured learning
  • daycare/early education programs
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