IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #center #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given two figures depict the
map
 of a university’s
sports
centre
 at present and the new
map
 by reconstruction.
Overall
, the
sports
centre
 lacks different facilities in comparison with future plans with significant changes that provide many services for people.
It is clear that
 the present
map
 has just two outdoor courts on the east and west sides of the
centre
.
Also
, there are five sections inside the building
such
 as a changing
room
 on the left side of the
pool
, a gym on the north of the
pool
, a seating which is on the opposite of the changing
room
, a
pool
 which is placed on the
centre
, and a reception desk is in front of the entrance.
On the other hand
, the new layout shows that dramatic improvement will expand on both sides. First of all, the surrounding wall will be removed. The left outdoor courts will be replaced by a large leisure
pool
 and a changing
room
 and a
sports
 shop will be constructed. In future maps, just changing
room
,
pool
, reception and seating parts will remain. On the right side, two dance studios will be built on the northeast and east sides of the
map
. Another changing
room
 and a Café will be constructed on the southeast of the plan.
Besides
, the
sports
 hall will be placed on the right side of the seating part. The
last
 change is the gym which will be extended.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task response
Your essay includes the essential details of the current and future layouts. To improve, try to make your paragraphs more cohesive. Transition words and phrases could help to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, briefly summarize the key differences between the current and future layouts to make the essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Consider using varied and precise vocabulary to describe the maps, which will enhance clarity.
task response
You have successfully identified and compared the main features of the existing and planned layouts.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on different aspects of the maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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