IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

#people #range #household #goods #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the
development
 of technology, people
are now owning
Suggestion
now own
 more goods for their home.
Although
this
development
 is beneficial to manufacturers and the economy, I think in the long run, it would be harmful to the
environment
. It is reasonable why
this
trend
 is considered temporarily positive. The fact that many people are buying
household
 goods can be interpreted as more and more people are investing their effort in their families.
This
 conveys a positive social message, that the overall living standards are improving and that families are spending more time together,
hence
 the demand for
household
 equipment.
Secondly
,
this
trend
 will expand the market, which is beneficial to manufacturers.
However
, in the long run,
this
 consumption
trend
 can be negative. Buying numerous
household
 goods is one of the many forms of excessive consumerism. When people are affected by excessive consumerism, their priorities in life will be distorted.
Instead
 of focusing on using their own existing goods, they will have an urge to buy and own more goods.
This
development
 is not positive for the
environment
. Owning more products means using up more natural resources.
Also
, when people want to replace owned products, they will dispose large amounts of waste. There is scientific evidence showing that discarded
household
 appliances are very harmful when disposed
to
Suggestion
in
into
 the
environment
 in large quantities. The
development
 of
this
 shopping
trend
 of many people
might seems
Suggestion
might seem
 to benefit the economy at
first
 glance.
However
, in the long run,
this
development
 will leave negative impacts on the
environment
.
Therefore
, people should understand where to draw the line between investing effort in their family, and affecting the
environment
.
Submitted by nguyennchaun3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: