IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

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With the
development
Use synonyms
 of technology, people
are now owning
Suggestion
now own
 more goods for their home.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to manufacturers and the economy, I think in the long run, it would be harmful to the
environment
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. It is reasonable why
this
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trend
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 is considered temporarily positive. The fact that many people are buying
household
Use synonyms
 goods can be interpreted as more and more people are investing their effort in their families.
This
Linking Words
 conveys a positive social message, that the overall living standards are improving and that families are spending more time together,
hence
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 the demand for
household
Use synonyms
 equipment.
Secondly
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,
this
Linking Words
trend
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 will expand the market, which is beneficial to manufacturers.
However
Linking Words
, in the long run,
this
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 consumption
trend
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 can be negative. Buying numerous
household
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 goods is one of the many forms of excessive consumerism. When people are affected by excessive consumerism, their priorities in life will be distorted.
Instead
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 of focusing on using their own existing goods, they will have an urge to buy and own more goods.
This
Linking Words
development
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 is not positive for the
environment
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. Owning more products means using up more natural resources.
Also
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, when people want to replace owned products, they will dispose large amounts of waste. There is scientific evidence showing that discarded
household
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 appliances are very harmful when disposed
to
Suggestion
in
into
 the
environment
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 in large quantities. The
development
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 of
this
Linking Words
 shopping
trend
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 of many people
might seems
Suggestion
might seem
 to benefit the economy at
first
Linking Words
 glance.
However
Linking Words
, in the long run,
this
Linking Words
development
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 will leave negative impacts on the
environment
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.
Therefore
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, people should understand where to draw the line between investing effort in their family, and affecting the
environment
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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