Many animals today are being hunted to the point of extinction. What can be done to tackle this problem?

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Animals today are at a risk of
endanger
Suggestion
endangered
endangering
due to animal hunters who kill them to survive or kill the animals for luxuries,
such
Linking Words
as ivories from elephants, fars from rabbits. The only way to address the problem is to limit and advocate the hunters to respect the animal rights.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are a number of non-governmental organisations that encourage people to respect the animal lives and rights all over the world. In fact, some of them are powerful enough to stop the illegal huntings that cause the extinction of some certain animals. They must
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
their voice to stop the hunting
that is
Linking Words
practised as a hobby in some cultures. If the organisations educate the hunters how precious
animals
Suggestion
animals'
lives and bio-diversities, hunters will rethink of killing them just as a hobby. Another solution to discontinue animal killing at the point of extinction is that motivating people who hunt wild animals like deers to eat alternative meats,
such
Linking Words
as chicken, pork and beef that are mass reared in the animal farms.
Logal
Suggestion
Local
governments should fine heavily for hunters to kill wild animals, and
as a result
Linking Words
, they will have
meants
a wise and trusted guide and advisor
mentors
meats
mounts
from local markets.
Finally
Linking Words
, the biggest problem is the people who hunt certain animals to fabricate their luxury items.
For example
Linking Words
, the trading of ivories from
elepahnts
five-toed pachyderm
elephants
, which was already strictly banned globally, is still practising in the black markets. Since the business is quite lucrative for the sellers, the practice has never been completely eliminated. The governments may be able to collaborate each other and control the
trafific
the aggregation of things (pedestrians or vehicles) coming and going in a particular locality during a specified period of time
traffic
of those illegal transactions, because it is a cross-border issue in general. If they could install new international laws that
punich
impose a penalty on; inflict punishment on
punish
strictly the sellers and even buyers of items which were made of animals.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the new regulation could close the businesses related to hunting animals. In short, only when the governments introduce a new law to strictly punish the
trafficants
the aggregation of things (pedestrians or vehicles) coming and going in a particular locality during a specified period of time
traffics
, will the issue of the animal
endanger
Suggestion
endangers
be resolved.
Submitted by Erina on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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