IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Major companies use sports events to promote their product. Some people think it has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #product #people #impact
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Large and Leading companies
sponser
assume sponsorship of
sponsor
 sports events for advertising their
products but according to
Suggestion
products, but according to
 a section of people, it negatively impacted sports.
Linking Words
however
Suggestion
However
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 as there are some explicit benefits of sports marketing
inspite
Suggestion
in spite
 of its adverse effect.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, monetary gains from advertisements are an obvious advantage. Striking income is earned by the sports organisations to promote a product during sports events and with
this
Linking Words
 remuneration, the authorities can foster the growth of sports.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is an ideal way to grab financial assistance from private section which would
otherwise
Linking Words
, have been impossible. To cite an example, during Seoul Olympic games Coca-Cola offered an astonishing amount of $22 million just to display the Olympic symbol on its brand. Definitely,
this
Linking Words
 money can be utilized for
further
Linking Words
 betterment of
such
Linking Words
 events.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that monetization of sports can cause serious aftermaths. To illustrate, the famous brands that sponsor or pay the athletes, usually end up distracting from their games.
it
Suggestion
It
 is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that, the bigger the amount of sponsorship, the more the players feel under pressure to win. Mostly, the sponsors target the winning
teams
Suggestion
team
 to make them ambassadors.
Thus
Linking Words
, the focus of players diverts from dedicated playing towards financial gains which disturbs the purity of participating in sports. Having
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 to topic carefully, I am of the opinion that marketing in sports and athletic endorsement
for
Suggestion
of
 numerous products is a trend
that is
Linking Words
 likely to
continue but
Accept comma addition
continue, but
 to avoid unfavourable outcomes of promotional events, the players must be taught to play indifferently to give optimum performance.
Submitted by dinamuhammed789 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: