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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To become financially responsible adults, children should learn to handle their money from a young age. Discuss.

Managing
money
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 is a key life skill and it is critical that
children
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 should learn
this
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 skill at a young age. Developing financial management skills plays a key role in providing a secure environment for individuals and
future
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 generations. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 the strategies for educating
children
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 in financial management will be discussed. In general,
people
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 mostly learn from experience.
For
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this
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reason
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reason,
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 it is very important to give
children
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 the
opportunity
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 to handle
money
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 from a young age in order to give them experience and to encourage independence and learning. It is
also
Linking Words
 important that
children
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 can do
this
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 in a safe environment, free from the consequences of serious errors. Usually,
children
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 first obtain access to
money
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 from pocket
money
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that is
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 provided by their
parents
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.
This
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 gives
parents
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 a great deal of control over what
children
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 can buy. The challenge for
parents
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 is to choose the most appropriate amount of
money
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 to give
children
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. In most instances, the most appropriate amount of
money
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 is enough to meet
children
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’s basic costs (
for example
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 bus fares or lunches) plus a little more to give them freedom to make choices about how they spend
money
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.
This
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 approach is very important for
children
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 as they must make decisions regarding whether they want to save
money
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 for
future
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 and perhaps larger purchases or whether to enjoy their
money
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 today. They learn key skills
such
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 as self-discipline and planning.
However
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, perhaps the most important skill that
children
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 learn is the value of
money
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. The scarcity of
money
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 means that they learn that
money
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 is valuable and hard to obtain. Too little pocket
money
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 denies
children
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 the
opportunity
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 to make choices and learn,
while
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 too much can be disastrous for a child’s
future
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. Providing
children
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 with too much
money
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 means that they do not have to make any difficult decisions and there are no consequences for purchasing mistakes. They are
also
Linking Words
 taught that
money
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 is readily obtainable and does not have to be valued. Of
further
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 concern is that having access to too much
money
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 means that
children
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 are open to exploitation and could leave them
with
Change preposition
apply
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questioning whether their friendships are based on
money
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 or on genuine
like
Replace the word
likes
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 or respect. Excess
money
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also
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 gives
children
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 the
opportunity
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 to involve themselves in activities
such
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 as smoking, drug taking or alcohol abuse.
Furthermore
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, giving
people
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 a great deal of
money
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 at a young age denies them the
opportunity
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 to become successful in their own right. The challenge for
parents
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 becomes greater as
children
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 become older. Young
people
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 may have part-time jobs and earn their own
money
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. When
this
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 occurs it is important that good habits are established because
this
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 is a time in peoples’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
where
Correct word choice
when
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 their income may exceed their needs. If good habits are well established there is the
opportunity
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 for young
people
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 to build up
money
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 and gain personal experience with investments
such
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 as fixed deposits and shares. There is
also
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 the
opportunity
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 to start building towards
future
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 needs
such
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 as purchasing a house. In summary, it is of critical importance to teach
children
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 about finances as
this
Linking Words
 can give them important skills and habits for the
future
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. It can
also
Linking Words
 help them to establish a financial base and provide security for themselves and
future
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 generations.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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