IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes thought that corporations ought to provide sports and social facilities for local communities. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that businesses are responsible for providing local communities with sports facilities as it will greatly bring about some problems for companies. A good reason for companies to not waste
money
Use synonyms
 on providing sports facilities to local communities is that it would be better for businesses to spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on other aspects of work,
such
Linking Words
 as salary increases, bonuses and extra time off.
This
Linking Words
 is an essential way for staff to remain loyal to their companies and be more dedicated.
For example
Linking Words
, employees generally work very hard and are more dedicated to their works if they frequently receive more bonuses and paid overtime. Another point to consider is that sports facilities are too expensive for small companies, and they will be unable to afford their prices.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a more negative impact on a company’s budget and, without good budgeting, a company can go bankrupt. To cite an example, a small firm in Egypt wanted to become better know and raise its profile by donating some
money
Use synonyms
 to buy sports equipment to a local sports
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the company fails to compensate for
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
; it eventually closed its door.
Finally
Linking Words
, local communities should be subsidized by the government, not by businesses. To put it another way, large, international companies are not responsible for supporting local communities because these companies should focus on their growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some companies do not have the funds available to buy
this
Linking Words
 equipment.
For instance
Linking Words
, most international companies in South Africa would use a few portions of its profit to offer more jobs every year to the residents.
This
Linking Words
 can bring more economic advantages to society as a whole. In conclusion, companies are not responsible for supporting local communities, but companies can utilize
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 to spend on other aspects of work
such
Linking Words
 as paid maternity and paternity leave, bonuses, and creating more
jobs
Suggestion
job
 opportunities.
Submitted by hworld300 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: