IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #smoke #places #people
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Smoking is prohibited in most areas of the nation
,
Accept space
,
because it
affect
Suggestion
affects
 public which lead to cancer.If smokers want to
smoke
Use synonyms
 have to leave building premises due to environmental issues.I firmly agree with both the statement
.
Accept space
.
 Many countries have started banning public smoking.When an individual
smoke
Use synonyms
 in a public place
,
Accept space
,
it
is widely affecting
Suggestion
widely affects
 the smoker as well as the individual who is near to that person.
This
Linking Words
 cause serious issue
on
Suggestion
with
 the person's breathing system
.
Accept space
.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
 the
person near to the
Suggestion
person near the
 smoker do not
smoke
Use synonyms
 when they try to breath the oxygen
,
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,
the
smoke
Use synonyms
get
Suggestion
gets
 into his lungs and cause serious health problems which ends up
in
Suggestion
with
 cancer.
For example
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,
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,
as per the report of
leicester
an industrial city in Leicestershire in central England; built on the site of a Roman settlement
Leicester
 university
,
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,
Non-smokers
a person who does not smoke tobacco
nonsmokers
nonsmokers'
 are dying more than the smokers in most part of the
countries
Suggestion
country
. Building authorities have started prohibiting the smokers in
thier
of them or themselves
their
 areas due to pollution.
when
Suggestion
When
 an individual
smoke
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
large amount of stag is
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 formed which
condaminating
spreading pollution or contamination; especially radioactive contamination
contaminating
 the fresh air and lead to pollution.And
this
Linking Words
compleltly affect
Suggestion
completely affects
completely affect
has completely affected
is completely affecting
 on
theenvironment
Suggestion
the environment
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
this
Linking Words
 pollution tune the climate change and ends up in disaster.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Ontario most condominiums have been strictly
enforcing
Suggestion
enforced
 on people who
smoke
Use synonyms
 within the building
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 it is widely effecting the weather.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 condominiums have a smoking zone
.
Accept space
.
if
Suggestion
If
 anyone tried to
smoke
Use synonyms
 outside the smoking zone or within 500 meters to the building will be fined $4000. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
I firmly accept the statement that most countries have prohibited smoking in common places because of human health.As well as it is
completly
to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent
completely
 right
to
Suggestion
for
 those people who want to
smoke
Use synonyms
 have to leave the premises.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
If someone tried to do so
,
Accept space
,
will be penalised.
Submitted by jimith on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: