Nowadays everywhere in the world has multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#world #societies #mixture #people

In the present instance,

multiculturalism community

Accept comma addition

multiculturalism, community

becomes ubiquitous world-widely, in which there is a blend of various non-native

falks

your parents

folks

. To rationalise, I tend to believe it has both fruitful outcome and limitations. Both the pros and cons are discussed

further

. Discussing

tthe

definite article

the

merits of multicultural societies, the foremost one is that people enhance their knowledge. To elaborate, they can learn about diversified culture, festivals,

cloths

clothing in general

clothes

and so on.

Besides

it, humans can taste various types of food.

For instance

, Indian people can taste the cuisine of

Chinese tradional dish

Suggestion

the Chinese traditional dish

Chinese traditional dish

Furthermore

, it makes them happy by celebrating co-existence festivals, sports, musics, movies.

This

types

Suggestion

type

of activities

boost

Suggestion

boosts

their mind and feels relief. Despite the mentioned advantages of multinationals. There are some dangers it

posses

introduce

poses

. The most feared

ome

a human limb; technically the part of the superior limb between the shoulder and the elbow but commonly used to refer to the whole superior limb

arm

is that the man cannot set easily as residing with different behaviour person make it difficult for him. Apart from

this

, they may

suffering

Suggestion

suffer

from a linguistic issue because other cultural person

have

Suggestion

has

difficulty to understand the same language words.

Last

but not the least, people can easily judge each other from their cloths and food.

Thus

, to conclude and offer my position it can be

finally

analysed that omni

presend

give an exhibition of to an interested audience

present

in the

globe

Suggestion

global

multicultural communities. Despite the fact of difficulties in residing and language problem, my arguments proved that people feel happy by enjoying numerous cuisine and festivals.

Submitted by charmipatel493 on Thu Jul 25 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays everywhere in the world has multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

Recent research has shown that within the European Union the largest difference between the earnings of men and women exists in the UK. Many equal rights campaigners believe that immediate action should be taken to close the gender pay gap. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?