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Band 5

In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #money #items #development
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Over the years, the consumption of products has increased owing to higher incomes.
However
, as the salary hikes, people gradually become
addictive
Suggestion
addicted
addiction
 to shopping and saves less. In my opinion,
this
 can be detrimental to society as people will never be at peace and always be lured to earn more money. Due to high earning and purchasing, a person gets
shopaholic
Suggestion
Shopaholic
 and a cycle of never-ending demands is initiated.
Firstly
, as
monetary situation
Suggestion
the monetary situation
 improves,
lifestyle
Suggestion
the lifestyle
lifestyles
 of
people
Suggestion
the people
 becomes expensive by investing
on
Suggestion
in
 high-end products. To illustrate, many people buy new cars when their salary is increased, though the old car was functional and fulfilling all the requirements.
Secondly
, a vicious circle of never ending wishes for materialistic things gets started, when a person is over indulged in shopping.
Therefore
, at the end of the month, they do not have funds in their banks, no matter how huge the salary is. Eventually, savings for the future is minimized because of extravagant
lifestyle
.
Moreover
, incorporating king size
lifestyle
 is easy, but compromising lavish
lifestyle
 during monetary issues is extremely painful. To exemplify, many
businessman
Suggestion
businessmen
commits
Suggestion
commit
 suicide after the business failure, as they are not able to degrade their standard of living.
However
,
circulation
Suggestion
the circulation
 of money increases in the market, as
number
Suggestion
the number
a number
 of customer increases, but
this
 cannot suffice for the problems people go through by overspending. In Conclusion, people should not get trapped in the cycle of earning high and spending high. Attaining a balance between spending and saving money is the main key to lead a quality life.
Submitted by gunjankathpalia7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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