In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #money #items #development

Over the years, the consumption of products has increased owing to higher incomes.

However

, as the salary hikes, people gradually become

addictive

Suggestion

addicted

addiction

to shopping and saves less. In my opinion,

this

can be detrimental to society as people will never be at peace and always be lured to earn more money. Due to high earning and purchasing, a person gets

shopaholic

Suggestion

Shopaholic

and a cycle of never-ending demands is initiated.

Firstly

, as

monetary situation

Suggestion

the monetary situation

improves,

lifestyle

Suggestion

the lifestyle

lifestyles

people

Suggestion

the people

becomes expensive by investing

Suggestion

high-end products. To illustrate, many people buy new cars when their salary is increased, though the old car was functional and fulfilling all the requirements.

Secondly

, a vicious circle of never ending wishes for materialistic things gets started, when a person is over indulged in shopping.

Therefore

, at the end of the month, they do not have funds in their banks, no matter how huge the salary is. Eventually, savings for the future is minimized because of extravagant

lifestyle

Moreover

, incorporating king size

lifestyle

is easy, but compromising lavish

lifestyle

during monetary issues is extremely painful. To exemplify, many

businessman

Suggestion

businessmen

commits

Suggestion

commit

suicide after the business failure, as they are not able to degrade their standard of living.

However

circulation

Suggestion

the circulation

of money increases in the market, as

number

Suggestion

the number

a number

of customer increases, but

this

cannot suffice for the problems people go through by overspending. In Conclusion, people should not get trapped in the cycle of earning high and spending high. Attaining a balance between spending and saving money is the main key to lead a quality life.

Submitted by gunjankathpalia7 on Thu Jul 25 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As a result of electronic inventions ,people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health . To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .

Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category- 2002

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.