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Band 4

All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

#world #people #effects
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The issue of obesity and related health conditions have been increasing
in
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at
a
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an
 alarming rate since
last
Linking Words
 few decades. Excessive consumption of fast foods and lack of exercise
are
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is
 two main
culprit
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culprits
 of
this
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;
however
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,
Accept space
,
this
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 can be effectively tackled by adopting
healthy lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
 in their day to day
life
Use synonyms
. A good reason for climbing number of
obesity
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obese
 people is that availability of junk food.Today, due to busy work schedule most of youngsters
do not get
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are not getting
 enough time for cooking.They
,
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,
consequently
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, eat
convenient
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convenience
 food which
are
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is
 easily available along with low price.
Moreover
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,
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,
it
taste
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tastes
 exotic compared to any healthy options.
As a result
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,
Accept space
,
large quantity of food
are consumed
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is consumed
 by society and eventually
,
Accept space
,
weight has been increased Another point to consider is that these days people have less physical activity since many are working in
office setting
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an office setting
the office setting
 where they get
minimum room
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a minimum room
 for exercise.Extra pounds
has
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have
 to be burned if anyone wants to keep his body healthy. The impact of obesity is enormous.
Fistly
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Firstly
,
this
Linking Words
 can be disfigured physical appearance and
person
Use synonyms
 looks much older than his age;
therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
obesed
excessively fat
obese
obsessed
abused
person
Use synonyms
face
Suggestion
faces
 lack of confidence in his throughout the
life
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
which will badly
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 his
life
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,
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,
health related issues
,
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,
as
over weight
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
 causes problems to
cardiovascular system
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the cardiovascular system
,
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,
brain and hormonal imbalance.To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
this
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issues
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issue
certainly reduce
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certainly reduces
has certainly reduced
 his productivity in his work as well as in personal
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, overweight
cause
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causes
major effect
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a major effect
 in both personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
 of a
person
Use synonyms
. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
weighing extra body
weight creates
Accept comma addition
weight, creates
 numerous problem to a
person
Use synonyms
;
Accept space
;
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 must be resolved if
confront
Suggestion
confronted
 effectively.
Submitted by Sal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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