Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

Many

educationalists

believe that compulsory free social

work

ought to be a part of high school curriculum.I completely agree with the viewpoints as

this

provides practical experience

Accept space

in depth knowledge of a particular subject and chance of exploring

real world

Suggestion

the real world

under supervision.

Firstly

Accept space

by serving

community

Suggestion

the community

Accept space

students get hands on experience and learn essential skills which may not be acquired from typical classroom setting.

Moreover

this

experience ensures an upper hand when they apply for jobs after education.To illustrate

Accept space

many employers ask their candidates to submit their community service certificate along with academic documents.

Thus

, significance of unpaid

work

is so important.

Secondly

, school going students can learn in depth knowledge of a certain job

Accept space

meaning understanding

Accept comma addition

meaning, understanding

purpose

Suggestion

the purpose

of that

activities

Suggestion

activity

Accept space

how the particular

work

benefits others

Accept space

how can tackle challenges of

this

work

Additionally students

Accept comma addition

Additionally, students

develop respect towards various jobs and its implications for society.

Finally

, unpaid

work

are designed

Suggestion

is designed

to help students

to have

Suggestion

have

job exposure under support

Accept space

which never meant for the money.From very young

age students

Accept comma addition

age, students

grow in a

work

oriented culture

Accept space

which will have a long term impact on

students

Suggestion

student

students'

student's

life. In conclusion,

although

some against the idea of compulsory social service

Accept space

I completely agree because

this

help children grow more.

Submitted by Sal on Fri Jul 26 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

198 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?