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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #work
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It is a debated issue whether it is useful or
disavantageous
constituting a disadvantage
disadvantageous
 for the younger generation to partake in gainful employment. There are many pros and cons
in
Suggestion
of
 allowing children engage in paid jobs. In my opinion, the drawbacks outweighs its benefits. Children are assumed to be in their formative stage and exposure to certain work environment is likely to be a threat to
there
of them or themselves
their
 upbringing. They mostly tend to live by what they see and learn from it.
For instance
, Letting a
child
 work in liquor stores or bars, may eventually make the
child
 start drinking at a young age.
Therefore
, when children are left to work for money, they may end up in places that are not safe for their development.
Also
, at an early stage, education should be a fundamental requirement of every
child
. All other things
such
 as jobs should be secondary in a
childs
Suggestion
child's
 life. To clarify, times spent studying are crucial to every young
child
 and prepares them to face the labour force.
Finally
, when kids start
make
Suggestion
making
 money, they will have no proper knowledge of how well to spend or save their income.
On the other hand
, most people hold that kids should be left to take up paid jobs so as to help with family responsibilities. To illustrate, in
third
 world Countries like Nigeria, kids are seen helping their parents with petty trading and street hawking.
This
 is a way of assisting with finances in the family.
In addition
, most individuals believe that children working at a younger stage
gives
Suggestion
give
 them a better insight of jobs to take up when they eventually grow up.
For example
, taking up a job at a tender age gives one prior knowledge and experience about the job.
Therefore
, they find it crucial that children start partaking in paid jobs to enable them make choices in
future
Suggestion
the future
. To put in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that children engaging in paid jobs have both benefits and drawbacks but the drawbacks outweigh the
benfits
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
.
Submitted by How on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
What to do next:
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