IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #price #fuel #cars #vehicles
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It is a thought conceived by some that one of the solutions to detrimental issues of the
environment
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 is to inflate the cost of automobile
fuel
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.
However
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,
while
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 I believe that the inflation of petroleum
price
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prices
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 could help curb environmental
problems
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, other ways like
,
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apply
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 the prohibition of
deforestation
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, could
also
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 prove useful.
To begin
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 with , the impact of increased vehicular
fuel
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 on the
environment
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 could have clear advantages. For one, the hike in the pricing of petroleum products would discourage the use of vehicles that
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on them,
consequently
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, oil refineries that are the major
pulluters
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polluters
 of the atmosphere would be forced with low patronage leading to their closure. For another , the increase in
fuel
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 price would reduce road congestion because people would be forced to walk,
whereas
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, without the inflation of
fuel
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 prices people would drive their cars.
For example
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,
two-third
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two-thirds
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 of
the
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apply
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America
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American
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 citizens have cars, causing serious road traffic and more travel time.
Hence
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, for these reasons,
it is clear that
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 an upward review of the
fuel
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 prices would result in an
environment
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 rid of pollution.
In addition
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, the prohibition of
deforestation
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 could improve the environmental condition in many ways.
Firstly
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, the preservation of the countryside and all the variety of plant species there rather than its destruction for the building of factories, houses and power plants would be a solution to environmental
problems
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.
Secondly
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, since
plant
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plants
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absorbes
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absorb
carbon dioxide and
produces
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produce
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 oxygen,
it
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they
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 should be protected in order to clean the
environment
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 from the fumes that automobile produces.
For instance
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, in Brazil, large portions of rainforests are secured so that the plant revitalizes the air quality.
Thus
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, from here,
it is clear that
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deforestation
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 could mitigate environmental
problems
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.
To conclude
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, inflating the price of
fuel
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 for cars would solve the environmental
problems
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,
also
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, I believe that the ban
of
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on
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deforestation
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 would be productive. Globally the forests should be preserved in order to have a future clean
environment
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.
Submitted by Nelson on

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task achievement
To enhance your response for the 'Task Achievement' criterion, include more precise and detailed examples to support your points. This depth of detail will add clarity and relevance to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve 'Coherence and Cohesion,' work on smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs. This will make your essay flow better and ensure that arguments are more seamlessly connected.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a clear overview of your position on the topic. This helps in framing your arguments effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
You present clear arguments and cover multiple aspects of the issue, which indicates a comprehensive approach to the topic.
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