Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money

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Governmental finance as a form of support for

artists

Use synonyms

has evolved

has

Correct your spelling

show examples

a major topic of concern in modern society.

While

Linking Words

some believe there are real benefits of

this

Linking Words

policy, I would contend that

that

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

is a waste of financial resources. There is a common belief that

artists

Use synonyms

should be provided with financial support by the state. People may argue that some

artists

Use synonyms

receive less money compared with

they

Correct pronoun usage

what they

show examples

devote to society.

For example

Linking Words

, Nguyen Van Ty, a

nationally-famous

Correct your spelling

nationally famous

show examples

musician in Vietnam, lived a deprived life and died in poverty. Another significant reason for

this

Linking Words

belief is that once

governmental

Correct article usage

a governmental

show examples

budget

Change preposition

for

show examples

supporting

artists

Use synonyms

is allowed, thousands of young

artists

Use synonyms

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be stimulated to contribute more to the development of

art

Use synonyms

. A clear example of

this

Linking Words

is that the 2005 governmental allowance for young photographers in Singapore acted as a precursor to an era

Change preposition

in that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

Singaporean photography took a giant leap to become a leading industry in the whole country’s entertainment industry.

However

Linking Words

, I am convinced that

this

Linking Words

type of governmental spending is worthless. The primary reason is that in today’s economy,

artists

Use synonyms

can take care of themselves financially without the help of the government. With the aid of the Internet and digital technology,

artists

Use synonyms

can now reach millions of people by publishing their artwork online. With

this

Linking Words

larger target audience,

artists

Use synonyms

may easily find buyers of their artwork and

therefore

Linking Words

do not need financial assistance. Another significant reason why

this

Linking Words

is a waste of money is that there are better ways for the government to spend their budget

for

Change preposition

show examples

art

Use synonyms

. Investment in

art

Use synonyms

education,

for example

Linking Words

, not only raises

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public awareness of

art

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

makes people treasure

art

Use synonyms

more. The result of

this

Linking Words

practice is that the public would willingly pay more for artwork, which is a more sustainable way to promote

art

Use synonyms

, making providing

artists

Use synonyms

with financial assistance a less

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

and

thus

Linking Words

a money-wasting policy.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the idea of giving

artists

Use synonyms

financial assistance is worthwhile to some, I firmly believe that there are far more compelling reasons why

this

Linking Words

policy is a waste of money in today’s society.

Submitted by thuxdepp02 on Sat Jul 27 2019

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task achievement

Ensure that all arguments are fully elaborated with examples that are closely related to the point being discussed.

coherence cohesion

Use clear and varied linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are used to support the main arguments, enhancing the task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

The advent of the internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement. Share personal examples in your essay.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?