The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Education is a critical domain to prepare students for the contemporary world. It is considered that learning institutes ought to cut
art
and
music
out of the syllabus so that children can concentrate on critical subjects
such
as information
technology
. I fully agree with
this
view and
this
essay will discuss reasons for it.
Firstly
, schools should focus on technical subjects and remove artistry and
music
related courses because the job prospect in the future requires technical skills. Due to the advancement in the
technology
, job market requires more technical individuals and very few
art
Suggestion
arts
and
music
related professionals.
This
, in turn, means if schools maintain focus on the information
technology
subjects, students would be able to devote much
time
in learning technical subjects, which would be, in turn, beneficial for their career aspect. A recent report from Oxford University,
for instance
, showed that 75% of jobs in western countries are for people relating to telecom, software and computer skills, and only 5% for artistic skills.
Secondly
, another reason of giving focus solely to the information
technology
and cutting
art
subject is that technical subjects require more efforts and
time
. The
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
is wasted in learning
art subject
Suggestion
the art subject
, can be utilized in learning tough technical subjects, which require extra efforts and struggle.
In other words
, technical subjects
such
as software programming, digital communication, and computer skills require excessive study, due to their hard to learn aspect. Research by World Education Institute,
for example
, revealed that technical courses require 5 hours extra
time
for study than non-technical subjects. In conclusion, it is argued that schools should exclude
art
and
music
from their curriculum, in order to keep
concentration
Suggestion
the concentration
on technical subjects, I completely agree with
this
notion, as future employment requires technical individuals and technical subjects demand more efforts.
Submitted by perfectshah2019 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural education
  • globally connected world
  • problem-solving skills
  • critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
  • self-expression
  • mental health impacts
  • digital art
  • music production
  • technology-driven careers
  • academic performance
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional development
  • creative subjects
  • enrich creativity
  • foster a sense of achievement
  • stress relief
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