The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology

Education is a critical domain to prepare students for the contemporary world. It is considered that learning institutes ought to cut

art

and

music

out of the syllabus so that children can concentrate on critical subjects

such

as information

technology

. I fully agree with

this

view and

this

essay will discuss reasons for it.

Firstly

, schools should focus on technical subjects and remove artistry and

music

related courses because the job prospect in the future requires technical skills. Due to the advancement in the

technology

, job market requires more technical individuals and very few

art

Suggestion

arts

and

music

related professionals.

This

, in turn, means if schools maintain focus on the information

technology

subjects, students would be able to devote much

time

in learning technical subjects, which would be, in turn, beneficial for their career aspect. A recent report from Oxford University,

for instance

, showed that 75% of jobs in western countries are for people relating to telecom, software and computer skills, and only 5% for artistic skills.

Secondly

, another reason of giving focus solely to the information

technology

and cutting

art

subject is that technical subjects require more efforts and

time

. The

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

is wasted in learning

art subject

Suggestion

the art subject

, can be utilized in learning tough technical subjects, which require extra efforts and struggle.

In other words

, technical subjects

such

as software programming, digital communication, and computer skills require excessive study, due to their hard to learn aspect. Research by World Education Institute,

for example

, revealed that technical courses require 5 hours extra

time

for study than non-technical subjects. In conclusion, it is argued that schools should exclude

art

and

music

from their curriculum, in order to keep

concentration

Suggestion

the concentration

on technical subjects, I completely agree with

this

notion, as future employment requires technical individuals and technical subjects demand more efforts.

Submitted by perfectshah2019 on Mon Jul 29 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You recently visited a dog park and were disturbed by the lack of control the owners imposed on their dogs, making them dangerous for everyone around. Write an email to your local municipality in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Describe the situation • Explain why the dogs were a danger to others • Propose a solution
The purpose of my writing today is to inform you about a dog park complaint there are multiple owners imposed on their dogs, It's making it dangerous for everyone around the park. I recently visited this park with my daughter. We were roaming in here and there in the park and suddenly one dag had attacked my baby girl.
7
band
You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter
I am writing to share my concerns regarding the bed and sofa used by our visitors. They have proven to be quite uncomfortable for guests staying in our home for short periods, leading to negative feedback. In other words, it is imperative that we find a solution to replace them as soon as possible.
4.5
band
Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Employees should have at least a one-month holiday yearly to get enthusiastic and do a great job in their offices . It would be better if the work manager gives his team 30 days per year just to encourage them to innovate in their jobs . This essay will argue why giving such a long holiday is not always appropriate .
6
band
Nowadays, the people lives are longer and in some countries, there are more lod people than young people Advantages and disadvantages?
The rapid growth of technology and knowledge, is one of many reasons that allow people to have a longer life, because people can get the right treatment and get the information of health more easily. As the result, in many countries, the number of old people is more than the number of young people. Having more old people than young people in certain countries can have their own advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed further as follows.
6
band
Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotions and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products.
Compared with the past, the number of companies and large businesses increasing all over the world causes the population to tend to buy from big companies instead of buying from local products. In this article, I want to discuss what problems will happen and what solutions we have.

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter

Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the people lives are longer and in some countries, there are more lod people than young people Advantages and disadvantages?

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotions and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products.