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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that there is a trend of couples having
children
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 when they are averagely older than bygone generations.
While
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 there are a plethora of reasons for
this
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 phenomenon, it poses some downsides
as well as
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 benefits, which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. One reason that many adults might be hesitant to have a baby in earlier stages of their lives is the fact that nowadays providing for a family has become much more challenging.
Therefore
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, they might postpone becoming a parent until when they are capable of funding a larger family.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is now more educated on the science behind
children
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’s upbringing than they were before,
as a result
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, couples might plan their childbearing for when they feel fully prepared.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend is beneficial in some aspects.
Firstly
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, it will result in families having greater financial stability as the child is growing up, and for them to be able to offer them a superior service throughout their child’s life.
For example
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, these
children
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 can go to private schools and high-ranked universities.
Secondly
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, when parents possess a deeper understanding of the methods of raising a baby, these
children
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 will grow up mentally healthier.
Nevertheless
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, there are downsides to
this
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 trend as well, which need to be addressed. For one, a greater generational age gap could result in conflicts amongst families, as the parents might lack acceptance in facing their
children
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’s issues.
Not to mention
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 that these kids might be susceptible to experiencing their parent’s illness or even possibly their demise sooner than they could tolerate
such
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 a great loss. In conclusion, I would argue that both financial reasons alongside the modern cultural sphere have led people to delay having
children
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.
Therefore
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, their offspring will experience a better lifestyle both financially and mentally;
however
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,
this
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 new generation may
also
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 suffer from a greater cultural difference from their parents or be exposed to their death earlier.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your ideas. Occasionally, the sentence structure can feel repetitive; varying it could make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
While you've presented solid reasons and examples, elaborating further on the disadvantages could strengthen your argument. For instance, discussing potential emotional aspects or societal implications in more detail may provide a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with a logical progression of ideas and an appropriate introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is critical in essay writing. The examples helped illustrate your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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