IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people have difficulty in maintaining health diet. What are the causes of this problem ? How could it be solved?

#people #difficulty #health #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, most people have formed a habit of eating junk
Use synonyms
food
Accept comma addition
food, hence
hence
Linking Words
, find it difficult sustain a balanced diet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the possible causes of
this
Linking Words
 bad eating habits and how it can be managed.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost a major reason why people
have unhealthy diet
Suggestion
have an unhealthy diet
 is because of the easy access to junk foods.
As a result
Linking Words
 of the increase of fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants in the society, people can now buy readily made
food
Use synonyms
 which often contain high calories and are unhealthy for the consumption of man.
Moreso
United States rock singer (1943-1971)
Morrison
, because many people are busy with work, they most times find it difficult to cook a good meal for themselves,
thus
Linking Words
 they are compelled to patronise road side
food
Use synonyms
 stalls which have a reputation for selling low quality meals. Some of the possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle includes, Government placing a restriction on junk foods, to encourage restaurants put more healthy meals on their menu plans
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables and smoothies.
In addition
Linking Words
, there should
also
Linking Words
 be a massive awareness
programs
Suggestion
program
 by health organizations to educate the public about the possible causes of having bad eating habits as it could lead to medical conditions
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and heart related diseases.
This
Linking Words
 will undoubtedly make individuals more cautious when eating. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people find it difficult to maintain a healthy
diet
Accept comma addition
diet, however
however
Linking Words
, with some regulations by the government and education by the health organizations
this
Linking Words
 habit can be curbed.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: