IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some countries have laws that prohibit animals being used in circuses or other forms of entertainment because it is cruel to keep animals in an environment that can cause them stress. Should all countries have laws to prevent animals being used in circuses and similar forms of entertainment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #laws #animals #circuses #forms #entertainment #environment #stress
Animals are created by the nature same as of human with different characteristics and shapes.They have all rights to live
in
Suggestion
on
this
 earth with freedom what actually people
does not have
Suggestion
do not have
.It is one of a living organisms
,
Accept space
,
which cannot be used as a pastime for public to relief
they
of them or themselves
their
 stress by stressing them.For
this
 reason
,
Accept space
,
nations should have rules to not use the animals for the entertainment of people
,
Accept space
,
otherwise
 they would be disturbed and stressful which can make them to die through mental problems.
First
 of all, nature thought that animals
has
Suggestion
have
 only five sense that why
it
it is
it's
 not equal to people in the way of thinking.It does not know what other creature
are
Suggestion
is
 or anything about others
,
Accept space
,
they will just survive for
themseleves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 by eating food from forest
,
Accept space
,
drinking water from rivers.Our people have a
think
a special situation
thing
 to live a
luxious
displaying luxury and furnishing gratification to the senses
luxurious
 life or a posh lifestyle
,
Accept space
,
but the animals only want a freedom to live in
this
 society.So, the public should not disturb them to have
pleasure
Suggestion
the pleasure
.The government
have
Suggestion
has
 to take the steps to give the awareness to the society that animals is not for our
uses
a person who makes use of a thing; someone who uses or employs something
users
.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
many animals are more useful to
mankind which
Accept comma addition
mankind, which
 is actually not known to them.The cows are giving milk to humans for their energy, but we are
racing
increasing in quantity or value
raising
 them in public like car racing which is not a right way of gratitude towards animals by people.We don't have the power to kill or hurt them for our
luxious
displaying luxury and furnishing gratification to the senses
luxurious
 happiness.The authority should not allow
this
 kind of activities, and make the rules more harder to prevent animals from any anyone, who have a cruel behaviour. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
the
governement
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 should make a path to live the animals in their own way without human interference.The public to be
caution
Suggestion
cautious
 that our bliss should not
depends
Suggestion
depend
 on
the unhappy
Suggestion
the unhappiness
 of an animal.
Submitted by revanth on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: