Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that online games are not good for kids. While, others consider that they can be beneficial.

Although

video

games are benefiting young people, but I believe that children adopt

this

kind of lazy lifestyle and ignore physical activities does deteriorate health. The main advantages of playing online games for young person, they can develop their linguistic skills in an authenticate context.

This

may lead to the development of

second

language which can benefit in near future.

For example

, while playing online games a young child can chat with American or British teammates during games. It is a kind of the language learning process in an enjoyable way, games

such

as PUBG or WarCraft. Despite of, getting fluent in a language, I believe,

video

games an addictive and it is hard for kids to get into other activities and when it comes to exercising they ignore and adopt a lazy lifestyle. Kids get easily addicted to these types of computer games. As these games are designed so well that, on completion of each task participant win points, So winning and gaining points at every stage in

gaming world

Suggestion

the gaming world

thus

releases dopamine in the brain, eventually they get addicted to

video

games and completely ignores exercising, prone to diseases

such

as diabetes and heart attacks in the future.

For example

, recently a survey on addictive

video

games people conducted by Oxford university found that the life span of these people is very short due to less physical activities and chances suffering from heart diseases is in these people. To conclude, though online games are helpful to learn languages.

However

, I believe that physical activities do wonders in a person’s life fighting against diseases through willpower.

Submitted by omsairam24 on Thu Aug 01 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Here is the corrected version of your text:

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Are higher taxes or lower taxes better for society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

1.An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies of shopping online?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give opinions.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend