Nowaday, it is common to have marriage and children in their thirties rather than in younger age. What is cause behind this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
currently, many
people
are prone to be married at over thirty years old while
others have married at a younger age. The writer of this
essay believes that the notion of marrying in the thirties
is more misunderstood because of the gap between the generation between parents
and children
, however
, this
is a positive trend due to
the experience and patience of mature people
.
The generation gap which is the cause of being in marriage in the thirties
should be considered. This
is due to
the fact that the prejudice of adults is very old-fashioned toward the new generations because there are a lot of changes happening in society.As a consequence
, young children
regularly have an opposed idea against their parents
being far older than them,therefore
, the family will have more arguments which weakens the relationship between parents
and children
and leads to an unhappy family.
It must be recognized that maturity which is gained from experience is the key to teaching children
.To explain further
, youngsters may not have the experience in educating their son or daughter about moral standards that raise awareness for their child is important in society nowadays.Take Japan as a contextual example, where there were 60% the
Change preposition
of the
people
just have begun to marry in 2023, furthermore
, more than 50% of these people
were found to they taught their children
are better than a younger age.
another point about marrying at thirties
year old is the patient parents
who can appease and soothe the soul of their child.In other words
, many children
recently are far more arrogant than in the past , so that, patience also
become more important to parents
sympathizing with a situation and controlling anger when they argue with each other,moreover
,it is obvious that people
in there are far more patient than a younger age .For instance
, scientific research by BBC News found that parents
whose expertise in patience can teach their children
more efficiently rather than impatient ones due to
the tolerance of these parents
to their children
.
In conclusion, in spite of being married in thirties
can lead to misunderstanding due to
the generation gap,it also
has a positive side from the experienced and patient parents
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coherence cohesion
Some of the sentences are long and confusing. Try to break them into shorter sentences for clarity.
task achievement
The introduction could be clearer. State your position more explicitly and outline what the essay will cover.
task achievement
Some ideas are repeated or not fully developed. Try to elaborate on fewer points but in greater depth.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the case of Japan, which help illustrate the points made.
coherence cohesion
There is an effort to cover different aspects of the topic, including societal changes and personal characteristics like patience and experience.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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