IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #teachers #influence #parents #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The beliefs and values of young people are shaped through a myriad of influences. Among the most major of these are influences exerted by a child’s parents and teachers.
However
Linking Words
, it is argued that ultimately teachers have more influence than parents on the intellectual and social development of children.
This
Linking Words
 will be proven by looking at how students become more attentive when interacting with teachers and how teachers engage students in an
environment
Use synonyms
 more conducive to erudition and learning.
Firstly
Linking Words
, teachers have the opportunity to interact with their students during periods of the day when young people are more attentive. To illustrate, an American study once proved that human beings more readily commit new skills and ideas to memory in the morning as opposed to the afternoon or evening. As teachers spend five mornings a week with young people,
this
Linking Words
 example makes it clear that they have a clear advantage over parents when it comes to developing a young person’s mind.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is clear that teachers affect the intellectual and social growth of a child in a manner that the child’s parents cannot match.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, a classroom
environment
Use synonyms
 is a powerful place that puts a child in a frame of mind that encourages learning.
For example
Linking Words
, it has been proved that students who are homeschooled tend to have more difficulty than classroom-taught students in grasping the knowledge their instructor presents to them. It is argued that
this
Linking Words
 disparity exists because a classroom surrounds students with an
environment
Use synonyms
 of academia, and
this
Linking Words
 promotes the acquisition of knowledge. As
this
Linking Words
 sort of
environment
Use synonyms
 is not always present in a child’s home, it is clear that teachers are in many ways more influential than parents in expanding a child’s mind. After looking at the above, it can be seen that instructors have advantages over parents when it comes to forming the minds of children. It is
thus
Linking Words
 expected that the traditional classroom style of learning will not be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by Masudur Rahman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Structured learning environment
  • Cognitive skills
  • Social interactions
  • Pedagogical techniques
  • Moral values
  • Emotional well-being
  • Complementary roles
  • Academic and social education
  • Individualized attention
  • Life skills training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: