IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that advertising is
Use synonyms
x well-known method
Suggestion
an x well-known method
the x well-known method
 for promotion to increase the sales.
Use synonyms
x
Suggestion
X
, While some believe that there is no effect of advertising on
decision
Use synonyms
 making skills, I agree with those who feel that it has a huge
impact
Use synonyms
 on making decisions. On the one hand, they think that there are
x
Use synonyms
 few reasons that don’t make any influence of advertising on
decision
Use synonyms
 making.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the main reason is unreliable adverts with
x
Use synonyms
 small asterisk mark on the bottom.
For
Linking Words
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
 India many companies advertise some kind of offers on TV commercials in order to attract
customers but
Accept comma addition
customers, but
 when customers visit the store they see a completely different picture.
Secondly
Linking Words
 advocates of these types
believes
Suggestion
believe
 in a newly establish business advertisement
also
Linking Words
 don’t make any
impact
Use synonyms
 on
humans
Suggestion
human
human's
 mind because they are new to the market as customers gets apprehensive to buy from them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that advertisements have
x
Use synonyms
 great
impact
Use synonyms
 on
x
Use synonyms
decision
Use synonyms
 making process because when a company endorse a celebrity for his
product
Use synonyms
 advertisement which will have a strong effect on a person
decision
Use synonyms
 making. Recent research has found that a famous celebs who promoted or acted in
x
Use synonyms
 particular ad had a great
sales
Suggestion
sale
for
Suggestion
of
 that
product
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore in
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, in
 my view these
days giving
Accept comma addition
days, giving
 reviews by people on any
product
Use synonyms
 advertisement making a huge influence on
human mind
Suggestion
the human mind
 whether to buy a
product
Use synonyms
 or not. To illustrate many e-commerce companies like
amazon
(Greek mythology) one of a nation of women warriors of Scythia (who burned off the right breast in order to use a bow and arrow more effectively)
Amazon
,
flipkart
Suggestion
 have reviews
on
Suggestion
of
 products so people before making a purchase they will read the feedbacks and decide on that
product
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 sometimes advertisements are not trustworthy.
Therefore
Linking Words
 on balance personally, I hold the opinion that usage of famous people on adverts makes a huge
impact
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
decision making process
Suggestion
the decision making process
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: