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Band 5.5

10.B. Some people think restoration of the old building takes huge amount of the government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to use this money for the development of new roads and buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#b #people #restoration #amount #government #expenditure #money #development #roads #buildings
Ancient buildings and constructions are considered as a holder of a certain tradition and a place of
tourist
 attraction. The maintenance of
this
 old building requires huge
government
budget which
Accept comma addition
budget, which
, some people think, should be diverted to the
construction
 of the new roads and buildings. In my opinion, though it is imperative to spend on
old
Suggestion
the old construction
construction
, I believe governments should focus more on the creation of the new infrastructure. Undoubtedly, renovation of the antique building is necessary to make the place a
tourist
 attraction.
However
, will it be possible without improving the basic infrastructure of that country? To
illustrate suppose
Accept comma addition
illustrate, suppose
 a
historical
Suggestion
historic
 old building, where
government
Suggestion
the government
 has spent for
renovation
Suggestion
the renovation
,
may able
Accept comma addition
may, able
 to draw attention of
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of
tourist
Suggestion
tourists
 within and across the border but roads are not well developed to go to visit the building.
As a result
,
this
 is obvious that the
tourist
 will be
demotivated
 to go there, and
consequently
, the motive of
government
 spending will be futile.
Therefore
,
government
 should carefully divert the money for the
construction
 of the new road and building.
Furthermore
, developed roads and modern buildings are not only considered as
a
Suggestion
an
 indicator of
country’s development but
Suggestion
a country’s development, but
a country’s development but
the country’s development but
also
 act as a
boaster
a person who backs a politician or a team etc.
booster
 of a country’s economy either directly or indirectly.
For example
,
well developed transport system
Suggestion
the well developed transport system
a well developed transport system
 is
favorably
showing approval
favourably
 conducive to the expansion of the business, which
consequently
 contributes to the economy.
In addition
, when portion
Suggestion
, when a portion
 of money, previously used for restoration of the old historical buildings, diverted to the
construction
 of new roads and buildings, will expedite the development even
further
.
Thus
 diverting the spending from renovation of old buildings to
construction
Suggestion
the construction
 of new Roads and building is far more beneficial. In conclusion,
although
 expenditur
e
Suggestion
on
in age old historical buildings seems beneficial, diverting
this
 expenditure to the
construction
 of new roads and buildings will undeniably be more beneficial for the country
Submitted by Masudur Rahman on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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