IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local areas whenever possible rather than are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #shops #food #products #areas #countries
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It has argued that retailers should trade in locally made food
instead
 of foreign ones. In my opinion, I totally agree that only the edibles that are made in the locality should be sold around because, they are fresh, less expensive and their production helps reduce unemployment scandal.
Firstly
, perishable goods that are produced natively are usually fresh.
In other words
, their freshness makes them healthy for consumption because the vitamins and minerals would not have been altered due to processing and they would
also
 meet the daily nutritional requirements as proposed by the Dietary Association.
As a result
, the number of people visiting the hospitals due to food poisoning would reduce drastically.
For instance
, when the government of China banned the importation of foreign foods, they discovered that the incidence of gastroenteritis reduced from 78% to 35%. Another point to consider is, local foods are cost effective. Unlike foreign ones which have the cost of packaging, preservation, transportation and other logistics added to their final selling price, local foods are affordable and even the poor and middle class citizens can purchase healthy meals at give away prices.
In addition
, the production of local foods encourages employment. In essence, the number of unemployed citizens will drop and
this invariably
Accept comma addition
this, invariably
, will improve the economy of the nation.
For example
, the government of The Republic of Benin, reported a 58% decline in the rate of unemployment when there was an embargo on importation of foods. In conclusion, when local shops engage in the sales of locally made goods, citizens will consume fresh foods, become healthier, the cost of purchasing
such
 foods will be pocket-friendly and unemployment will be brought down to the
bearest
completely unclothed
barest
 minimum.
Submitted by Mabel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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