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Band 6.5

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

#children #countries #people #food #outlets #parents #health
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There is plenty of evidence to suggest that children are overweight and the situation is getting worse, according to the medical experts. I feel there are a number of reasons for
this
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. Some people blame the fact that we are surrounded by shops selling unhealthy, fatty foods
such
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 as chips and fried chicken, at low prices.
This
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 has created a whole generation of adults who have never cooked a meal for themselves. If there were
fewer
Suggestion
less
 of these restaurants,
then
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 children would not be tempted to buy take-away
food
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. There is another argument that blames the parents for allowing their children to become overweight. I tend to agree with
this
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 view, because good eating habits begin early in life, long before children start to visit fast
food
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 outlets. If children are given chips and chocolate rather than nourishing
food
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, or are always allowed to choose what they eat, they will go for the sweet and salty foods every time, and
this
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 will carry on throughout their lives. There is a
third
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 factor,
however
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, which contributes to the situation. Children these days take very little exercise. They do not walk to school. When they get home, they sit in front of the television or their computers and play video games. Not only is
this
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 an unhealthy pastime, it
also
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 gives them time to eat more junk
food
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. What they need is to go outside and play active games or sport. The two views discussed play an equal role in contributing to the problem, but I think we have to encourage young people to be more active, as well as steering them away from fast
food
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 outlets and bad eating habits. We need to have a balanced approach.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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